Vote Bag o' Bones

Round 1, heat 2 is now up over the 'chaw. Once again, I have but one entry in this heat, but it's a doozy - Jack Skellington

Below is Riggs' defense of his "character", followed by mine.

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Colonel Nathan R. Jessup, A Few Good Men

You have that luxury… you have the luxury of not knowing what I know. That Santiagos death, while tragic probably SAVED LIVES. And my existence, which is grotesque, and incomprehensible to you, SAVES LIVES. Deep down in places you don’t talk about at parties, you WANT me on that wall… you NEED me on that wall. We use words like honor, code, loyalty. We use these words as the backbone of a lifetime spent defending something. You use them as a punch line. I have neither the time, nor the inclination to explain myself to a person who rises and sleeps under the very blanket of freedom which I provide, and then QUESTIONS the manner in which I provide it. I would rather you just say Thank You, and went on your way. Otherwise, I suggest you pick up a weapon and stand a post. EITHER WAY, I don’t give a GODDAMN… WHAT YOU THINK YOU ARE ENTITLED TO!

I didn’t even recount the most famous of lines, or most commercial I should say, which is of course, YOU CAN’T HANDLE THE TRUTH! Nor did I recount the funniest… “Tom, get me the president, we’re surrendering our position here in Cuba”… Or how about,” What I want is for you to stand there in your faggety white uniform, and with your Harvard mouth, extend me some fucking courtesy”.

No, don’t really need to. The beauty of this character, so eloquently portrayed by one the most talented and revered actors of our time, is how he convinces the viewer of how terrifying a man he really is, and at the same time how necessary he is. Not because he is inhuman, but because it is his JOB. His total disregard for one human life, or several, in order to do his job, which is to save thousand as he sees it, is evident in his stance as a Marine. The fact is, men like this (ok, women too you liberal feminist fags), NEED to exist. Jack shows why and more importantly HOW, with his portrayal of Colonel Nathan R Jessup. (insert cheap shot at competing writer) Leave it up to a Canadian to not understand that. After all, what do they ever need to defend. A country? BLAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA…..

OK, kidding about the Canadian thing… I think… As a movie character, aside from the fantastic acting, the writers make this character. Jack is nothing more than a talented vessel. The writers really try to show the horror of this maniacal, egotistical narcissist who in the end makes you believe that his existence, although grotesque, and incomprehensible to you, really does need to exist. See a sane person knows that it is necessary. A liberal, humanist can keep their head in the sand until another tower falls I guess.

-Riggstad


Jack Skellington, The Nightmare Before Christmas

Jack Skellington from The Nightmare Before Christmas vs Jack Nicholson. Yah, I know it says "Col. Nathan R. Jessup", but let's be honest here - did ANY of you remember that was his name? No. He's "Jack Nicholson in A Few Good Men." A middling movie remembered for ONE line. The character isn't memorable, the scenery chewing from one of the greatest actors of the 20th century is. But we aren't here to debate actors or their best quotes. No, we're here to find the best CHARACTERS.

But MY Jack? Why he's ALL character. Do you know who does his voice? Nope. Sure, you can look it up, but that's not necessary, because you remember Jack Skellington, not Chris Sarandon and Danny Elfman. Yah, that's right - TWO people were needed to bring this walking, singing, dancing saviour of Halloweentown to life. Skellington is a case study in character growth. Starting out as the toast of the town, putting on the best Halloweens every year, we see that this soul is lost. Having feared that he can't top himself, he wanders and discovers a world he just can't comprehend. His good intentions lead to the Christmas from hell, and through this journey he discovers not only the old "meaning of Christmas", but himself. This leads to him bringing righteous retribution down on the villains of his town, while begging for forgiveness for those he was wronged. Find me one other character from the 90's that can be as joyful, lovable, misguided and terrifying as Jack Skellington. He GROWS, he IS the movie. He doesn't just show up for a cup of coffee and a good yell at some pretty-boy Scientologist, he elevates what could have been just another holiday special to a classic.

Here's a test. Jessup's famous line: "You can't handle the truth!" Now please, recite ANYTHING else he says in that speech.

A line from Jack: "There are children throwing snowballs, instead of throwing heads. They're busy building toys, and absolutely no one's dead!" You're welcome for the earworm.

Sometimes the truth hurts, but I'm sure you can handle it. Jessup doesn't qualify for this tournament since you don't recognize his name without the picture. 19 years after A Few Good Men, Jessup is good for a single line in Nicholson retrospectives. 18 years after Nightmare, Jack Skellington is still gaining fans, being seen in theatres in 3D, and causing people to hum songs about their confusion about snow. Truly great characters endure through time and become legends. Mediocre ones only survive through their best line.

- Astin


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Remember to go over to Filmchaw to vote. NOW. Vote Skellington!

Photos of the Day

Like I post these things daily. Hah! Just a couple shots from some recent park wanderings nearby. We'll return you to your regularly scheduled 90's movie characters shortly.

Best of the 90's - Round 1a

AKA Mia Wallace Division, Day 1. AKA I only have one horse in today's race.

That horse? An actor's actor playing an actor's actor - John Malkovich from Being John Malkovich.

He's facing some bull-headed religious nut who studied Philosophy 101 from a decrepit old book he found in a Zion basement - Morpheus. But enough about a dude with a fixation on 90's Elton John songs.

Granted, my opponent, one HDouble, wrote an eloquent and tl;dr defense of the self-styled prophet, peppered with quotes that themselves are too long to recall (seriously, who remembers anything more than something about taking a pill based on colour?). But quotes taken from the Moleskine of some high-as-a-kite teenager do not a great character make. To the battle!

Vote over at Filmchaw. You'll also find the whole round 1a over there, where below is only my battle for this round.

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Morpheus, The Matrix
It's rare to find a movie character who can believably pull off so many dimensions simultaneously.

Prophet, Mentor, Keeper of the Faith, Martial Arts expert, Hero.

As I was trying to figure out how best to show why Morpheus is a "better" character than John Malkovich, I ended up with a few approaches that all failed to capture the greatness of . So let's go straight to the source and break down my favorite quotes from one of my favorite movie characters of all time.

Morpheus: The Matrix is a system, Neo. That system is our enemy. But when you're inside, you look around, what do you see? Businessmen, teachers, lawyers, carpenters. The very minds of the people we are trying to save. But until we do, these people are still a part of that system and that makes them our enemy. You have to understand, most of these people are not ready to be unplugged. And many of them are so inured, so hopelessly dependent on the system, that they will fight to protect it.

Morpheus's first lesson to his pupil is delivered with calm intensity, and explains in simple terms the way in which the "unexamined life" and materialism can imprison us. It's something an expert painter might say to an aspiring painter who has shown early promise. The speech also illustrates the painful reality of being a caring human being: we fight to save our enemies and open their eyes to a way of living outside the system.

Morpheus: I know *exactly* what you mean. Let me tell you why you're here. You're here because you know something. What you know you can't explain, but you feel it. You've felt it your entire life, that there's something wrong with the world. You don't know what it is, but it's there, like a splinter in your mind, driving you mad. It is this feeling that has brought you to me. Do you know what I'm talking about?

The teacher continues his lecture, using a powerful simile to make his point. The "splinter" he refers to reminds us of those moments when we aspire for a more fulfilling life and a better world. In a world filled with depressing headlines, cynicism and sarcasm fill our mind with storm clouds that threaten apathy. With this speech, Morpheus offers us a ray of idealism that pierces the dark clouds.

Morpheus: Free your mind.
[Morpheus jumps from one building to another a long distance away]
Neo: Whoa

Like all great teachers, Morpheus first explains a concept, and then illustrates the concept by doing it himself. Just as Yoda lifts his pupil's ship from the swamp when Luke sees only the impossible, Morpheus forces his pupil to see beyond the limitations created by his mind. Sitting in the theater as a 22 year old, I remember sharing Neo's amazement at the sight of Morpheus's leap of faith.

How many Malkovich quotes do you remember? Do you remember his voice? Do you remember what he was wearing? Take the red pill.

-HDouble


John Malkovitch, Being John Malkovitch
Some characters are incredibly one-dimensional. Others have some pathetic other side that is intended to add depth. Nowadays it seems everything is going 3D. But Malkovich? He's multidimensional, he's got dimensions you can't even imagine. Accessible through a small door on the 7 1/2 floor, you too can be this broad-based auteur. Thespian, tortured soul, puppeteer and puppet both, a man controlled by the whim of petty man-gods, with direct access to the side of the New Jersey Turnpike, Malkovich fights an ultimately fruitless battle against forces he can barely understand. Man vs Army of Senior Citizens inside his own mind isn't frequently visited territory for most actors, but John Malkovich lives it in a means beyond the deepest method actors. Rare is it that one can face oneself, let alone oneself lying on a piano reciting oneself's name. Morpheus nearly broke under the "duress" of being asked some questions by an Australian with an hearing aid. John Malkovich rebelled against a man almost literally pulling his strings. Also, he's best friends with Charlie Sheen. Morpheus is best friends with some dork hacker who refuses to accept the reality of spoons.

- Astin

BBQ Sauce

Yellow onion - chopped and sweated in oil and butter
3 cloves garlic - minced and tossed in onions for 2 min
Ketchup
Brown sugar
Worcestershire sauce
Cider vinegar
White vinegar
Smokey BBQ vinegar
Juice of 1/2 a lemon
Garlic powder
Onion powder
Orange peel powder
Nutmeg
Smoked paprika
Roasted garlic salt
Hickory smoked salt
Alderwood smoked salt
Habanero salt
Ghost pepper salt
Black pepper
Ground ghost pepper
Habanero powder
Cayenne powder
Chipotle powder
Ancho chili powder
Chipotle Tabasco
Liquid smoke
Penzeys Northwoods Fire seasoning
Dried jalapeno flakes
Susie's teardrops
Susie's original hot sauce
Smoked chipotle hot sauce
Soy sauce
High fat cocoa powder
Apricot Wheat beer
Jack Daniels

I think that's it...

Stir and boil... blend with immersion blender (if it's metal. Plastic blenders will have to wait until cool). Simmer to reduce.

Sweet, spicy, BBQ sauce. I could probably remove half those ingredients without noticing a difference... or maybe not. It mellows substantially when cooked on chicken. I now have a large squeezable ketchup bottle full of the stuff. Better find me some ribs.

WSOP

Hoyazo asked the question that's likely been on many minds since a couple weeks ago. What are the WSOP numbers going to look like?

I think his 3000 number is on the low side for the main event. I'd see in the 4000-5000 range as likely, but with nothing to actually back that up other than gut feelings.

What is really going to suffer is the other 49,000 (give or take 3 orders of magnitude) events. All those $2000 packages and events that the low-limit grinders can work towards. Sure, the broke-dick donkey events will still see plenty of walk-up business, but non-NLHE events will see their numbers drop even more I'd think. Percentage-wise of course.

After all, they online sites will still be running tournaments for WSOP packages, there just won't be as many, and the winners will all be from from outside US borders. I might even look at taking a few longshots, since the fields should be considerably smaller.

I fully expect to see Harrah's running all kinds of cheap satellites at all of their casinos. They'll have to do whatever they can to keep the numbers from being embarrassing. Backers are going to back off, and pros are going to have to budget a bit better. Those who truly play this game as a job will have already adjusted their bankrolls and accounting to compensate for the lack of online play (if US-based, then it's huge, if outside the Dead Zone, than for the lack of US donkeys). Some will focus on smaller fields, avoiding the $10k coin flip altogether. But the allure of that honey (even 3000 runners = $30,000,000 up for grabs) will still draw flies.

So, with properties scattered around the country, and even sneaking north of the border, Harrah's should be running satellites, super-satellites, and promoting the hell out of them. If they were really smart, they'd try and convince a few smaller casinos to run some too. You telling me Trump wouldn't LOVE to have the chance to say one of his properties is "Home to the 2011 WSOP Champion"?

My only question is... who will be around to cover the Series?

90's Characters Kick-Off

If you haven't already, go read Goat's intro over at Filmchaw for the Greatest Movie Characters of the 90's. I'll wait.

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Oh, sorry, I went to grab a sandwich, and then there was this thing on TV that reminded me to check out a site someone e-mailed me earlier... guess I didn't really wait. Anyway, we're both back now.

This is going to be fun. I'm not sure even the four of us writing this thing are sure how it's going to play out. Can our mastery of language sway our readers from the obvious choices? Did a late-position, "I can't believe they're still available" choice create insane first-round matchups? Are we missing obvious choices? Probably.

I think Goat's got some details on the drafting rules and such coming, so I'll spare duplication here. But one complaint I've seen in a couple places is the lack of women on the list.

64 characters, 10 years, 4 women.

I had a few on my short list, but with only 16 choices, I had to make decisions based on character strength. Looking back, perhaps not having Trinity in there is a mistake, but is she a better choice than Smith? In hindsight... probably. Oops.

We did have a limitation on picks from a movie - each of us could only take one character from any given movie. So once I picked someone from, say, Pulp Fiction, it fell to someone else to pick another character. Mia Wallace was on my list, but Jules is obviously a stronger character.

Lola from Run Lola Run? Thought about it, but she's not really as strong as just about everyone else. Darla from Dazed and Confused was there, but I couldn't figure an argument to put her above, say, Darth Maul (you'll see where I'm going with that one soon enough). I thought about Leelo instead of Zorg, but dammit, the more I thought about it, the more I liked Zorg as a character. "You found me beautiful once" just doesn't match up to "Honey, you got reeeeeal ugly."

But hey, at least we didn't create a ladies' tournament. The 4 that made this list are more than capable of holding their own against their male opponents. I mean, we already know how Sarah Connor vs The Terminator turns out... and she was a big-haired party girl when they first faced off. T2 Sarah would turn the first movie into a 15 minute short.

Let's do this.

The View Of Canada's Shorts

There was, to put it in the most understated way possible, an interesting development in the poker world on Friday. Online poker in the United States, for all intents and purposes, was shut down. I doubt anybody reading here needs the details, but here's a summary for the 3 people who MIGHT not actually follow both poker and this blog.

Bank fraud, money laundering, and illegal gambling operations - three charges brought against 11 individuals, including the founders of Full Tilt and Poker Stars. The .com domain names of Tilt, Stars, and Absolute/UB seized by the FBI and DOJ. These sites quickly blocking all US players from playing real money games to try and cover their asses - too little, too late.

Here in Canada? Annoying pop-up warnings and e-mails from the site to tell us that US players are screwed but we're fine, and to download the software from the .co.uk sites if we're having problems updating.

AA can still get cracked by JQo AIPF on the first hand of a SnG too. So that hasn't changed.

I, unlike seemingly 90% of the poker players out there, am not a lawyer. These days, I'm barely a blogger. But still, I've already surpassed the 140 character limit of Twitter.

In short - this sucks. You already know this. For most of my friends in the poker world, this is a minor inconvenience. Their hobby has been relegated to casinos, card rooms, and home games. For some though, this is a blow to their livelihood. A handful write for, or even run, major poker news sites and blogs. Some are employed directly by the sites that are facing these legal challenges. I send good vibes and best wishes your way, as it's about all I can really do.

For the sites themselves? I feel little pity. If these charges are true, they blatantly broke the law, and did just about the stupidest thing they could have if they had any hopes of legally running their operations in the States.

As has been stated by people closer to this than me - the online poker rooms aren't the issue here. The fraud and laundering are, and they're HUGE. The PPA's statement the other day was so full of stupid it hurt my brain - this has nothing to do with the validity of online poker, but the ways these sites circumvented the law to get their money. Tilt and Stars are doing the right thing by stating their disappointment and otherwise keeping their traps shut.

Does anyone else recall during the Netteller debacle that one of the major concerns of the anti-online-gambling proponents was that they had no control over where the money flowed? Money laundering, fraud, and terrorism were all invoked as the specters faced by those who supported these sites. Well guess what? You've proven them right on two of those counts. You've added fuel to the righteous fire of those paid by the horse racing and anti-gambling lobbies. You've made it much harder for poker to get the status it deserves as a skill game. You're Capone being taken down for tax evasion.

But it will still happen. It just won't be via Tilt or Stars or UB. MGM Poker, WSOP Online, WynnPoker - these will be the clients you'll have available to install. Possibly powered by Zynga. Why? Because these are big US corporations that will say "Look at what we already do! We run casinos across the country and are good corporate citizens and provide American jobs that can't be moved offshore, and you already have all our tax numbers." The government will take it's sweet time deliberating and finessing and wringing of hands about the poor addicts who will gamble away their children's tuition and the milk money, but eventually, in a couple years or so, will allow these good American companies to set up shop online. Maybe with their new identity ecosystem. One ID, multiple sites. Maybe Party comes back a bit after that, with the argument that they obeyed the laws and are publicly traded in a trustworthy country like Great Britain.

If we see anything faster than in 2 years from the casinos? It will raise my suspicion that the casinos had a hand in this. They might not be run by the mob anymore, but that doesn't make the casino business any less dangerous to deal with. The stakes are just much higher.

And maybe, a decade or so down the road, some descendant of Tilt or Stars shows up in Canada's pants again. Humbled, chagrined, and under a heavy yoke of regulation and watchdoggery.

Poker is legal in the States. They'll find a way to put it online legally. More importantly, the government will find a way to make money off it.

In the meantime, there will be lots of satellite stories to follow over the coming months - pros, affiliates, the World Series, and plenty of fear and drama.

Fight Like A Girl

I figure instead of just jabbering about photography, I'll throw some pics up here. Maybe this will become a photo blog. Probably not. But at least there'll be some stuff to see more often.

The Pillow Fight League has been running in Toronto for 5 years. Last month they held their last show of the season, taking the summer off and possibly returning come fall. I saw them near the beginning, and stumbled across a lamp-post ad for their last show the day it was happening. Naturally, I had to attend.

Here, the seemingly loves-all-comers Kitten Kaboodle has the resident zombie, Eva Dead, in well... some kind of modified camel clutch with pillows (after all, all moves must use the pillow at the point of contact)



Then there was the aftermath of the title bout, where Dinah Mite went down in flames to Apocalipstick in a brutal match that could have gone either way. The fighters all gathered to say farewell, but Dinah seemed both dejected and exhausted after her bout. Will the league return so that Lipstick can defend her title? Only time will reveal the answer.

Combinatorics

I don't know about you, but when actually start to study a topic I already know something about, I often see the baby flying out in a large splash of bathwater before I pull it back in. Or less terribly-worded, I jump into the new ideas, ignoring what I already know, but eventually find the right combination of new and old experience.

Politics - what's the old saying? You're a democrat until the government takes your money, and then you go republican. I'd like to think that as we become more exposed to life, the intelligent among us start to see the subtleties and realities that we missed in our younger rose-coloured days. We find what we're passionate about, or what makes sense to us, and follow that path. Some eschew all materialism and build a cabin the woods to live off the land while giving all their possessions to an orphanage. Others become birthers who move to a cabin in the woods afraid the gubmint is gonna take their teeth. Most find a happy medium where they develop an opinion about stuff and continue on with their daily lives, adjusting as needed.

Poker? Read Harrington, or Negreanu, go through a thread on a forum about small ball, and our game changes overnight. Suddenly we're playing crap for small bets or checking M constantly to determine if our JTo is push-worthy. Inevitably, sticking "to the book" results in being very easy to read and control. Good players adapt and find some combination of lessons that fits their situation. Changing gears and all that.

We read about someone who took their own path and found a life model that made them rich and successful. Suddenly, what they did is what we're going to do, with no consideration for the differences in our situations. You can't invent a second pet rock and expect it to sell as well as the first.

No, eventually the excitement of our "discovery" of new methodologies wanes, and our old practices start to reassert themselves. These former rivals often find a means of melding into a new outlook that often works better, for us, than either did by themselves.

I'm slowly coming to that stage in photography. I find I'm swinging wildly between old habits and new lessons. I long ago started filtering the information being fed to me through a screen of care/don't care, but now I'm starting to see what's left behind.

We covered portraits a few weeks back, something I've never really done. I learned something - I hate portraits. I can't help but think that a couple pieces of advice from the teacher might have changed that mindset a bit. Even so, posing someone, checking lighting while the subject is in flux, and trying to make a living, breathing, feeling person look good is a collection of things I don't like. If you take a bad picture of a landscape, the landscape isn't going to care, and it will still be where you left it. The whole class was me trying to apply the various points of instruction from the previous week. I was a bit stressed, and fairly unhappy by the end. I looked at the hundreds of shots I took during that session, and was glad I only had to find 5-10, since I dislike most of them. I had applied none of the things I've learned in the past, and my shots look like those of a raw newbie. I'll see what I can fix in post.

But then we did black and white photography - another area I have zero experience in. This time, I had much more fun. I can look back and see various reasons - subjects that don't move or care what their picture looks like, more real-time advice from the instructor, and a bit more comfort in the studio after the portraiture session. But I think the key change was me tossing aside some of the opinions that had been pressed on us and going with what I knew. My tripod was out early and my camera stayed on it. My Promote Control was attached and I was bracketing shots for HDR use later. I switched between prime and zoom lenses as needed (although I pretty much stuck with my macro by the end). I went back into a comfort zone I've known for years and found the right amount of new education to bring in. Looking through the, again, hundreds of images from that session, I loved most of them. I'm in the process of whittling down the count to a displayable number, some HDR, some not.

I think my favourite part of that session was when the teacher was talking to my group towards the end. I had my camera 6ft in the air on the tripod, control in my hand, and I fired off 9 bracketed shots. The "what the hell is he doing?" look crossed the teacher's face, which one of my partners graciously responded to with "HDR" in a tone that said, "he's been doing this all class." El instructo thought for a second, said, "Black and white HDR?" thought some more, and then said "That could be really interesting."

Considering HDR is all about light and texture, the same areas that B&W focuses on, I had thought the same thing.

Favourite shot from the session so far:

Why You're Failing

It isn't, as you say, because there's so much competition in the business. Or because everyone has the basic technology at home and don't want pros to do it. Hell, it might not even because you're an arrogant douchebag.

Actually, that last one is probably why.

Here's the thing. You started the class by telling the teacher, who has decades of experience and seems to make a pretty good living doing his thing, that you had all the latest brand-name gear because your clients always asked what brands you used. He replied that he's never been asked that, and uses supplies from hardware and dollar stores.

You told him your camera didn't have a very basic setting that every camera has. He told you that you had to be wrong. You disagreed. You were.

We were told to bring in at MOST 50 pictures to the assignment review. Most people brought 25-50. You brought 300, claiming you read every line of the assignments and took a "scientific approach" to them. You obviously missed the lines that told you how many shots to bring in. You also failed to apply the science of "gee, will anybody in the class dedicate the time to look at 300 pictures? How could I possibly display that many?". Everybody tuned out when you tried to show stuff, most of us laughed about it.

The class has preached simplicity in lighting. Direct quotes from the guy you said "it is an honour to learn from" - "You don't need more than 1, maybe 2 lights and reflectors." "Learn how to use one light before using two." "The biggest mistake I see in lighting is people pulling out more and more lights to control shadows instead of using only a couple properly". So what do you do on the lighting class? Pull out 5 lights, 2 reflectors, and 4 partitions to light your model. Why? Because you know what you're doing of course. The fact most of the class lined up to take pictures of your model had little to do with your lighting skill and more to do with your model and the fact most of the class are sheep. Some of us didn't climb your stepladder to get the shot, and the person grading you sat against the wall chatting with those who weren't dazzled by your bullshit.

When asked why you're taking the class, you replied "so I can get my degree, because I've been doing commercial photography for years now but can't get some jobs without paper to back it up." I'm pretty sure the teacher rolled his eyes.

There's more, but my brain hurts every time you speak.

No, your business is getting tougher not because of outside factors, but because you're too fucking arrogant to figure out what an unpleasant moron you are. It's hard because you've spent your money on time on things you don't need and for advice you don't take. You give off an aura of "who the fuck is this asshole?" the minute you open your trap. Eventually you'll be holding hand puppets at the Sears portrait studio and blaming the Internet for your lot in life... while people who stopped looking for excuses and started fixing their own issues will still be doing what they love, and getting paid by your former clients.

On Post-Processing

Years ago I bought my first digital camera. A Pentax Optio 555 point-and-shoot. I loved that little beast. It went to Key West, Banff, and Israel with me along with anywhere else I went. At the time, I was newly transitioned from using film cameras, and didn't do anything in the way of post-processing. I like the pictures well enough, but looking back years later, I've realized what an important part of the process a little editing is.

Case in point, a shot from my trip to Banff in 2006:



An odd white balance, too much boring sky, lots of white, and what I saw vs what I shot are worlds apart.

The other day I started with picture #1 in my Lightroom catalogue and started working forwards. This may have been the most striking change so far:



And the changes weren't major - the white balance was corrected to give a colder tone, the contast increased, noise reduced, and most importantly, the image was cropped to focus on what I was attempting to make the subject in the first place - the line of the fence. Being a slave to the 2x3 aspect ratio that most cameras have (so you can get nice tidy 4x6 photos) results in so much wasted space.

Too much contrast? Too sharp? Too blue? Maybe, but those things are easily changed and tweaked.



When I stopped being afraid of changing what came out of my camera, and when I finally learned how to use something other than Photoshop for adjustments, I started feeling a lot better about the pictures I produce.

Poker? Here?

Another month goes by, so I should post again. Plus, I've somehow managed a few links from other blogs today it seems. Best to use that traffic, right?

There's always plenty rattling around this head o' mine, but I obviously have been sending it out in snippets on Twitter more than the long-form this area is better suited for.

So let's talk Poker. After all, this is, nominally at least, a poker blog.

(I feel I should link the word Poker to some site... how about this one)?

I played in the Mookank (Dankie? Daokankie?) last night, I believe my first appearance since this Donkey Island Survivor Poker thing started. Not that I'm part of either team or in any way involved (unless I am Julius Goat, in which case I'm chin deep in it). But hey, more people playing! More fun! And also, I kind of miss poker, even though I've sucked HARD at it the few times I've played the past few months.

So I signed up and kicked ass. Right up until Bam Bam left the rail and I got my 3rd pocket rockets - except this time they didn't hold up and went down in flames to a rivered set of Jacks. Out 14th. But before that, I was bluffing, and trapping, and catching, and playing like a jerk and winning, and all that fun stuff I do so love about the game. Still, I have informed the Bammer that he has been exiled from the province of Ontario (he can still visit) and must now spend his days in sunny Saskatchewan, where an eye can be kept on him from a safe distance. That's right, jinx me at the online felt by leaving to get a scotch and you'll find yourself in the corn field.

If nothing else, it primed the pump for Poker Stars' $5 mill anniversary game this Sunday. As Drizz pointed out - how often does a Lambo get to park in my garage? (Answer: not often). The $1 mil wouldn't be too shabby either, if not exactly enough to retire on. I should just have to navigate 50,000 other donkeys or so and I'll be just fine. Maybe I should take Monday off now so I can rest after my epic run ending in my 49,936th place finish. 200-some dollars well spent for sure.

Back to Donkey Survivor - congrats to Goat on a well-executed concept. For now at least, our wee little group has seem revitalized. With nothing particularly serious on the line, the trash-talk, blog posts, and general fun of our online meetings has grown again. Thanks to Buddydank too for keeping the home fires burning as the Mookiedank dwindled to a 2-table home game. Let's hope the yeoman work he and the rest of the BDR crew put in every week pays off with people sticking around again this time. Oh, and while I'm at - good on Hoyazo for keeping the pot stirred during all this. Even after getting KO'd early on, he's posting novellas about the games and so-called strategy coming into play. Now if we could only get the synopses back up...

Wait, Democracy Works?

That bruhaha about usage based billing (UBB)? It took a turn for the better a couple days ago.

Quick aside re: Canadian politics:

We have 4 major political parties - the Conservatives, Liberals, NDP, and Bloc Quebecois. The big 2 are the Conservatives and Liberals. The NDP are the "far" left who are generally pro-union, pro-tax, and more recently - pro-citizens. The Bloc only runs candidates in Quebec and has the stated goal of leaving Canada - so they don't really count in this topic and are only mentioned for completion's sake.

The NDP and Liberals have been against UBB for a while now, and once the shit hit the fan and petitions were being signed, the Conservatives were dragged over the line to also oppose it. Being the party in power, they were the big ones.

The Prime Minister took a personal interest in the issue, and the Industry Minister, Tony Clement went on the Twitters and told the world (or all 8700 of his followers) that the CRTC would either have to change its decision, or they'd do it for them

Win.

Now, it's not over yet. Even if the CRTC or the government strikes this down, restores competition and the avenue for innovation, and we all go back to merrily Netflixing our entertainment, this could rear its ugly head again.

See, an election is coming. This puts what could be a very popular issue to rest quickly. But once the dust has settled and we have 4-5 more years before the next election? Well, easy issues like this become less important. The companies involved are no doubt willing to wait it out a bit and start over again with their backroom dealings and flimsy excuses that anyone with an ounce of technical knowledge could disprove. They will try again.

Here's hoping everyone will still be willing to stop them.

Nearly Criminal

Bell. Grr.

Bell - Canada's major phone company. Also does satellite TV, Internet, and owns a bunch of crap. I've covered this before.

I've also mentioned how I'm in their rapidly dwindling echelon of hated users. Not because I use their phone lines, or their cell service, but because of my Internet usage. You see, I'm part of a dying breed - the guy on the Unlimited plan. The "lines" I'm on aren't the upgraded variety where I can get "up to" 25mb/s, but I have no bandwidth cap.

In their ongoing to attempt to get me to leave, they up my rate by $5 every 6 months. The latest increase just came in. This one coincided nicely with the CRTC's ruling that resellers (ie.- 3rd party providers using Bell and Rogers' lines) can now get screwed by the big boys. Where before, you could leave Bell and go to someone like Teksavvy in order to avoid caps, that option is now gone. Sure, you'd still be on Bell lines, but you'd have 200GB/month. Now? Teksavvy is forced to drop their cap to 25GB/month because our regulatory institution is in the back pocket of corporate Canada. Fuck.

Bell might now win. I'm now paying more per month for old service than their top-tier "fiber" (not really fiber) option. That one has a 75GB cap and for $5 I can add another 40. 75 isn't enough... 115 should be. If not? Another $5 for another 40.

But the whole thing pisses me off. Canada is a country that is ruled by monopolies. Bell was once the ONLY phone provider - it was government mandated. Rogers was once the only choice for TV in Toronto after it crushed or bought its competition. Eventually, Rogers moved into phone service, Bell into TV, and both into Internet and cell phones. But while they'll compete against each other, they're pretty united in hating the consumer.

See, Netflix came to town a few months ago with a streaming service. Rogers also has a bunch of video rental stores, and their VoD service. Bell has its VoD as well, and both have just launched online VoD. Can YOU see where they might want a convenient excuse to cap users? I can't... must be all this bullshit in my way.

I fully expect to see them partner with Microsoft, Sony, and possibly Nintendo as well - "Hey PS3 users! If you're on Bell, your PSN downloads don't count against your cap!" Considering I get all my games from Steam these days, there's another GB-sucking portal.

And you know what's rapidly disappearing? Physical media. CDs, DVDs, video games in a box - they all have limited retail lives as download speeds and storage increase. If you can grab a 10GB game while you sleep, why go to the store? HD movies streamed instantly? Downloadable in an hour to keep? Can't see the need for a player much longer. Even books are increasingly being downloaded to e-readers. Smart phones connect to your WiFi network to surf and grab apps.

The point being that ALL entertainment and information is going online and being downloaded, and being charged nearly $2/GB (if you don't pay for a block) when it costs at most PENNIES for the companies to provide it is damned near criminal. The fact our regulatory body, who is SUPPOSED to be looking out for the citizenry, the consumers, and the well-being of the country, as failed so epically is disgusting. They've effectively condemned Canada into staying in the stone ages technologically, at the mercy of a handful of large, established corporations who have only their own interests at heart. The small guys can't compete. Their ONLY competitive edge has been taken away. Nobody has the kind of capital required to lay physical communication lines across the second largest country in the world.

The only source of competitive hope would be one of the low-cost wireless carriers investing in a high-speed 4G cell broadband network. Pay for cell service, pay for at-home wireless broadband. Unlimited data on a tethered plan? That would still take some massive investment, but less than burying cable.

That, or the Googlenet will have to come to Canada.

Anybody want to connect a 54km Ethernet cable from my house to a US router?

Year in Review

- I didn't post much
- I tweeted a bunch
- I didn't play much poker. When I did, I lost.
- I travelled - Montreal, New York, Buffalo a bunch, Orlando, Montreal again, Vegas.
- In most of those places, I ate some fantastic food. Orlando wasn't anything spectacular on that front.
- I didn't cook nearly as much as I should have. Especially nothing new or exciting.
- I took a ton of pictures. I've so far posted almost none of them.
- I saw Dawn Summers, Mary, and VinNay more than most of my non-blogger friends
- I took some photography classes, and learned that 3 per week is too much for me. Down to 1 per week next semester.
- I lost in Vegas money-wise, but won friends and food-wise.

Come 2011?

Probably more of the same. Already planning another trip to Montreal (they have such good food), and Vegas is permanently in the schedule. The rest is pretty open right now. Maybe I'll try and play more poker and actually work on and post some pics - there are so many I want to share. I also expect to be cooking a whole bunch more soon. Let's start simple with some fondue and egg nog for New Year's. I make awesome nog.

Golden Hammer Thoughts

I had just finished up a solid dinner with my posse, and had some time to kill before we dropped off two of our group at the airport for the Saturday red-eye. There was a call for more gambling, which I was not against, but I informed them that first I wanted to check in on the tournament, now heading into hour 9.

Last year's game finished around 11. The year previous, with a larger field, I bubbled in 10th around the same time. At 9pm, I figured the game was still far from over.

We walked in as a break was winding down and the remaining six were milling about the table waiting to start up again. I was happy to see so many familiar faces still in the game. And even though we were long eliminated thanks to my inability to win a damn hand, seeing teammate MiamiDon with a big stack in front of him was great.

Now, having gone deep the previous two years, I know how much of a grind it can be. I don't know if there was a dinner break this year, but there wasn't the previous. I was hungry, tired, and frankly a little sick of playing poker for so long for both my runs. My friends were out drinking and rolling dice and eating and generally having more fun than me, and the longer the game went, the more I wanted to be out there with them. Hell, both years I missed the chance to see one of my buddies off to the airport.

But I would have never chopped for the trophy.

Al made the offer to JoeSpeaker and myself the previous year when we were three-handed. "Chop, but I get the trophy!" No way. Joe and I looked at each other incredulously. How could Al make that offer? We'd happily chop the cash 3-ways, or even give Al a premium since he was in the lead at the time, but we were playing for the trophy. One a year gets handed out, and the list of champions is still short. Al refused to chop if he didn't get the Golden Hammer handed to him. So I ended it with, "That's the sort of thing someone who doesn't think they can win it on their own would say."

Now, I don't fault Don for offering the chop, or taking it. Hell, if I was in a dominant lead, I'd put it out there, expecting nobody to take it. Negotiating requires you to ask for more than you think you'll get, because what will you lose? Plus, Don had a very healthy stack of orange chips in front of him, and it could be argued that he was the most feared player at the table. But for FIVE other people to say "sure, no problem" without even an ATTEMPT at negotiation? Nobody even tried to talk him down on the cash - why not say, "You get 2nd place money minus whatever puts the rest of us at 3rd place cash?"

Cash aside, only ONE person (and I don't even know who he is) said, "I kinda want the trophy." Which he quickly followed with, "But I'm good with the chop." Don even put it out there that he was happy to play on if ANYBODY didn't like the chop. Nobody spoke up. I get the shortstacks taking the deal, their chances of getting past 5 other players slim, but that leaves 3 other players who had a legitimate shot at the championship who shrugged and went with it.

Poker is a grind, and after 9 hours, I get the desire to stand up and leave with over a grand in your pocket. Bills to pay, losses to cover, people have their reasons for wanting or needing the money. But this wasn't the noon $150 tournament, this was the WPBT Winter Classic, which I THOUGHT was a championship coveted by our little group. I was PROUD to have won the trophy outright, and would have been ashamed if I'd taken the money instead of trying to take the championship. Hell, if even ONE person had spoken up and said "No, I didn't just put most of my Saturday into this to not take a shot at the Hammer," and been talked into the chop by the rest, then someone could have held their head up. Instead, a few hundred extra bucks locked in was enough to toss pride aside.

Don made a big play without a single card and won. He won the trophy and the tournament with one last big bet. Do I think that's a deserving way to win a championship? No. Do I feel it tarnishes the win? Yes. Do I fault him for taking it? No. I probably would have done the same in Don's position, because I would have never expected FIVE of our crew to agree to such a ridiculous offer. Everyone who said yes though? You come off as a sellout.

WPBT Report

I was there for five days, but I think it can be recapped in one post. Forgive the lack of links, I may add them when I get home.

Let's get the crap out of the way first - down. Down a bunch. Atlantic City levels of down. I don't think I won a damned thing. Craps? Hundos on the table, walking away empty-handed. Pai Gow? Down a couple, but most games were the expected break-even with +EV in drinks. Let it Ride? If not a for a 3-card set of jacks, I'd be swearing off the game. Poker? AA once in the tournament (where I went out in 86th) was the only notable hand in all the poker I played. Although I was up $23 in the MGM mixed game. Slots? Well, I'd better be getting some good offers from the broke-ass casino companies this year after the number of max-bet button presses on my cards without a cash-out.

So, totally negative on the gambling front.

Big deal.

I was still under my loss limit.

And it was more than made up for by the real reason I went - to see you people.

By "you people", I mean you. And you. But not you, because you didn't go.

As has been the case for every winter gathering I've attended (4 and counting), I had a small entourage of local friends in my wake. The regulars - M, N, and E were joined by a couple Vegas virgins - M2 and S. In years past, I've had small regret for having a posse with me, as they haven't necessarily integrated with the larger group well, which has left me torn between groups.

This year, I went where I wanted, and it worked out better. Local friends ditch the $10 table for the $5? Tough, I've got Otis on my right, and Chilly and Bayne on my left. I'm not going anywhere. Drizz, Maigrey, and Gus show up to make it even better.

Hey guys, I'm teaching you Pai Gow. I can't believe that worked considering one of them doesn't drink and another doesn't drink much. Talk about -EV.

You want to stay in the room instead of gamble? Have fun, I have a tournament to rail and a drunken Gus is too much fun to NOT join his craps table.

Got to meet BrainMC (world's worst Pai Gow player), xkm1245 (who I think was stalking me, dude seemed to be everywhere), NumbBono, PokerVixen, 23Skidoo, Josie (who I like because she called me skinny), and more. Probably played with even more people I didn't know without realizing it. Sorry to Wolfshead for not introducing myself at the mixed game - I was full of Robuchon and gambling angst and didn't think to make a formal introduction.

Then of course, there's my fellow Canucks - Katitude and Joanne1111. Only seeing Joanada in Vegas makes sense as Calgary ain't exactly next door. But Kat? We really need to start meeting up somewhere between the 20 minutes between our respective homes - I think 10 minutes is much more reasonable :). Then there's kinda-Canadian BuddyDank who was the first blogger I saw this year, and who I have just now decided I will blame for my early ousting from the tournament, as I spent most of my time chatting with him. Obviously, he drained all my good luck to make it to the 6-way chop.

Speaking of Canadians - OhCaptain's (from South Ontitoba, aka Minnesota) Bourbonators never really came together, but he DID get his group shot before the tournament and a bottle of Bowmore to bring to the next Eh-Vegas! Always good to see the cap'n.

Then there's VinNay and Dawn and Mary, who I've seen more than any other bloggers (and most of my local friends) this year. Amazingly, we still had some stuff to talk about, be it of substance or not. Although Mary and I seemed to be on different schedules and barely crossed paths.

I FINALLY played craps with Bayne after about 6 coincident visits to Vegas. That one's ticked off the list, and replace with "do it again, and win this time."

CK made it out to Robuchon this year! No crappy deals that never got done to keep her away from the best meal in Vegas. And for those who DIDN'T see her at the mixed game after? She cleans up great - who knew she even had a dress and heels? You'd barely know she was a deadly poker machine.

Al, Pauly, Iggy, CJ, Drizz, Falstaff, April, April, Garth, Gnome, MiamiDon, JoeSpeaker and many, many more - it was great to see you, however briefly.

I even managed to make it to Legasse's this year. Later than planned, but there was something great about walking into that suite, packed with people I knew, and some I hadn't even realized were there. Free swag from Full Tilt was icing on the cake. I'll have to start using my pool to justify the sandals...

And the food! I might have lost at the various gambling tables, but the dinner tables were nothing but win.

Sage = fantastic food, and an amazing value for a nice dinner. 3 course tasting menu, wine or beer pairing, and appetizer upgrade all for $140? In Vegas? Worth it. Oh, and our waiter was amazing - he rolled with our jokes (we were in town for a quilting bee) and was great for a laugh or six himself.

Delmonico's = still making the steaks right. Two years in a row now we've been put at the front of the restaurant - which is dark and sucks. Service has dropped off since our first visit 4 years back as well - it's by no means bad, but it used to be above and beyond. But they still know how to cook a solid piece of meat. The $25 corkage fee for our excellent self-brought wine was also very reasonable.

Robuchon - what can I say that I didn't last year? Awesome. With the new experience shine off from last year for half of us, I worried if I'd oversold it to myself. Nope. Still 16 courses of perfect food and impeccable service. Worth every penny. Hell, I'd lost more at craps the first night. Our sommelier being Canadian was a pretty nice touch too. Seriously, if you can afford it, do it at least once.

Julian Serrano - Last minute "well, we're all out of the tournament" dinner. Very nice tapas. Reasonable prices. I've certainly had better tapas in Toronto, but the dishes here ranged from good to "bring us another of those". The waiter was also incredibly friendly, and seemed genuinely happy to have served us. The fact he found a stamp-collector in our group, and he was an active one himself, certainly helped.

Legasse's - You'd be hard-pressed to find better food at a sports bar anywhere. Considering it was the only meal I ate between then and lunch the next day, it was welcome.

The last time I was down this much, N and I left Atlantic City with grumbles and vows to never return. Looking back, I can't believe how much fun I had while flushing cash down the felt toilets in Vegas. A huge thank you to everyone who was there, and a double thanks to Al, April (and her local cohorts), and CJ for taking care of all those logistical things that made it extra special.

Next year? Need to cram in a photowalk, and also get that indoor skydiving thing done. There's also the Jose Andres restaurants opening up this week at the Cosmopolitan. I task the Vegas locals to check those out for me and report back ASAP.

First Vegas Pic

This year's view - room upgrade failed, but this will do I suppose.

Next time I'm here at sunrise, there'll be a new pic.

Gravy (WPBT)

This isn't about politics... just the next paragraph.

It's a word that in my fine city has become a punchline. Our current mayor's cries to "stop the gravy train" have infused connotations onto a word that is usually associated with deliciousness.

But dammit, I loves me my gravy! And you know what? Next week will be full of it!

Because next week is Vegas! A week tomorrow is when I sit my ass down to defend my Golden Hammer Trophy from over 100 challengers. You know what else? The pot just keeps getting more tasty with delicious gravy!

Poker Stars has increased their team last-longer prize from last year! Now Full Tilt has stepped up to grow our prize pool AND cover food at Sunday's football-watching extravaganza. Man, I wish that $100 bubble prize was there two years ago when I was that guy. On top of all that, both Tilt and Stars are putting bounties on people in the tournament! $100 or $50 depending on the sponsor, and hell, that could be $150 depending on overlap of bounties! AND a Hammer Challenge from Stars! $50 for winning post flop with the hammer? They should just throw money at the tables!

Between my inevitable repeating as champ, the 1-2-3 finish of Team "Astin is Awesome" (that's our name, right guys?), and me knocking out EVERYONE, with THE HAMMER, this will be a very profitable tournament for yours truly.

Let's be honest, I'm going home with a copy of Gigli and a hangover.

Plus, poker lessons before the tournament! I mean, let's face it... if I can win this thing everyone else must REALLY suck, and could only benefit from this opportunity.

Thanks to Sir AlCantHang and El Luckbox for putting this delicious topping together for us sorry degenerates.

I am figuratively bursting at the seams with anticipation for this trip. I always look forward to Vegas, but this year, it's also a real vacation from life for a few days. Everything else?

Gravy.

Did I Learn Anything?

My first semester of classes in over a decade are wrapping up in the next couple weeks. I'm actually missing two of the remaining six classes due to a small gathering of (sometimes) like-minded individuals in the desert. It's been a lesson in time management, and reminder that while I can still pull off the last minute cram session, it's not nearly as much fun as when I could sleep the next day away.

But the real question at the end of any period of education is - did I learn anything? The short answer is, "yes," but not necessarily in the way the institution had in mind.

The class that approximately equates to "Digital Photography for Dummies" actually turned out to be "Intro to Lightroom". The Photoshop course pretty much lived up to expectations of being far too rudimentary to be of much use to me. The history course? Completely useless and the most stress-inducing of them all for the least amount of gain.

So what did I learn then? There were snippets of usefulness here and there - try this setting, here's a list of shortcut keys, here's a feature I didn't know about. Largely things I could have learned if I bothered to Google the right questions, or just played around long enough. Of course, the key part is that I wouldn't have - so this is information I wouldn't otherwise have in reality.

But more so has been a massive improvement in my workflow. Having never used Lightroom before, I now see why it's such a beloved tool. It easily covers 80% of what needs to be done to most photos. I still have to switch to Photomatix for HDR, and CS5 for stitching, more advanced work, and actual editing instead of processing, but so much is now encapsulated in one fairly quick program that I may one day get through my massive backlog of photos.

Also, I think the actual pictures I'm taking are getting better. This is through no fault of the courses, and more a result of the sheer volume that I've taken with the specific goal in mind of "take different, good pics for class" instead of my vacation M.O. of "take a ton, sort 'em out later". There are still swaths of near-duplicates, but it has improved.

Perhaps the biggest change, and most recently noticed - keeping the work. I used to edit my photos, flatten the layers, and save it as a high-quality JPEG to save space. This recently bit me in the ass when I went back to edit my bounty picture. The aggravation of not being able to find a TIFF or PSD file with previous changes in place nearly broke me. I finally tracked down a full-sized JPEG and ended up altering it as necessary (sharpening and cropping to a standard print ratio). The whole time, an instructor's voice in my head - "I don't know why you WOULD get rid of your layers and save it as a JPEG or something. Then you can't edit it later." Lesson learned.

So now, with plans for yet another massive desktop upgrade (my 13" Macbook became the powerhouse with a simple memory upgrade, that can't stand), a new camera on the horizon (5D Mk III can't get here fast enough), and a noticeable drop in my bank account accompanying all that, I feel like I'm actually taking that next step in my photographic process. Amazing how even so little actual education can lead to such major progression.