Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Ba Da Ba Ba Ba

I'm McLovin' it.

Hey, the 16th is TODAY. 9pm CDT (or 10pm EDT for the more normal people out there) is TONIGHT! About an hour after 8pm CDT!

Also, I have it on good authority that Ronald McDonald is one of the clowns who DOESN'T eat kids. So it's not like his house is a supplier of tender soylent green. Mmmmm.... people. *drooool*

Sorry. Right. Ronald McDonald house provides a place for families to stay when visiting hospitals. I know *I* was confused about what they were for a long time. Then I looked it up on the Internets and found out it totally wasn't where Mayor McCheese retired to after his term limits were up (and his popularity down due to his inability to get Officer Big Mac to catch the Hamburgler).

Anyway, it's $10. So it's actually $1 cheaper than The Mookie, and 50% of it goes to a good cause. The other 50% goes to some donkey who sucked out on you after you got it all in pre-flop with AJo and he only had QQ. I mean really, who the hell thinks QQ is good after you push all-in from the button with 3 big blinds against his 20? That douchebag, that's who.

Unless that total dick gives his winnings to the cause as well, then he's not so much a douchebag as a tool with a good heart.

But hey, the world needs tools. So invite all the assholes you know! Also, your family. Unless your family are assholes, in which case you already invited them. And your friends, who while I assume they're assholes, I won't say that because you're my friend and I wouldn't want to offend you... asshole.

It's like a gaping convention in that last paragraph.

Right, kids... charity. Lots of people, jerkwads or not, means lots of money for a good cause. Buy yourself some good Karma. Is Karma capitalized? Beats me. All I know is that if you don't like donating to charity, then you should think of it as donating to your soul. That's selfish, but also selfless.

I signed up yesterday. Why didn't you? Obviously, you hate kids.

Hey, if I win, I'll donate my winnings to RMH Canada. Because I have a good heart.

And so concludes the most horrible post ever promoting a children's charity.


BamBam said...

"And so concludes the most horrible post ever promoting a children's charity."

I don't know!
It could've been worse I think. That is if you tried to fit all the D-Bag and asshole thoughts into a Haiku.


Wolfshead said...

Hey, I thought it was a great post. I like the style. BTW, I hate kids, except my own of course and I still registered. Just do it.

lightning36 said...

I liked it!

Wolfshead said...

Ut-oh, scary stuff, Lightning agreeing with me

Steven Woods said...

Keep asking money related questions. Money is substantial!