Sweetbreads

Maybe I should have taken pictures. No, that would have scared you off.

Sweetbreads are sometimes called "gateway offal" because they're pretty damned tasty if done right, not from anywhere particularly disgusting on the animal (thymus, which disappears after the animal is around 6 months old), and aren't a particularly weird texture.

I had them for the first time a few years back at a popular joint in these parts - The Black Hoof. The chef, Grant van Gameren, has since moved on to Enoteca Sociale, and brought his sweetbreads with him. This is now one of my favourite restaurants (the fact the rest of the menu is delicious doesn't hurt either). The first time I had sweetbreads, I literally moaned. That "holy shit this is amazing and words can't describe it" ooohmmmm that comes unbidden when tasting something amazing.

I now tend to order them whenever they're on a menu. They never come close to van Gameren's. They're sometimes quite good, but sometimes also quite bland. I was particularly disappointed when I had them at Carnevino in Vegas. A great restaurant, incredibly bland sweetbreads.

The ones I love are smoked. I don't see this done much anywhere else. They're often sautéed, or roasted, and they lack that depth of flavour smoking gives.

Naturally, I had to try to make my own.

I took a shot and tweeted @GrantVanGameren for tips on how to make them amazing. He replied with some helpful tips, all in 140 characters.  I got a little giddy.

Astoundingly, they didn't turn out as a complete mess, despite being previously frozen, and sitting thawed in the fridge for two days.

It's a bit of an involved process, something I didn't know before deciding to make them. Nothing difficult, just lengthy.

First I soaked them in cold water in the fridge for 24 hours, changing the water once (should have been more, but I forgot). This is necessary to draw out blood and other unpalatable bits aparently.

Then I blanched them for a few minutes in chicken stock. Laziness too over here again and I used a cube to make the stock instead of thawing out some of the 15L of real stock in my freezer.

So far, stellar start.

After blanching,  you have to remove the membrane. This was fairly easy at this point. I just used my hands, as tools could result in losing precious meat.

Then the pressing. The sweetbreads were put on a paper towel on a baking sheet, then another towel was put on top, and another baking sheet pressed down with cast iron pan.  This setup sat in my fridge for another 20 hours.

It was Wednesday now, I had bought them to make on Saturday. Whoops.

At this point, it was finally time to finish them off.

Out came the stovetop smoker. It was suggested to me to use light, cold smoke, but I lack the ability to cold smoke in my condo. So to compensate, I didn't cook them all the way through when I blanched (when are you supposed to cook something entirely in a blanching anyway? Isn't that just boiling at that point?). I used 2/3 apple wood and and 1/3 oak, cut up the sweetbreads, and hot smoked them for 15 minutes. Off the heat they came, and I tested one. A bit offaly still, but cooked through with some smoke flavour. I left the lid closed off the heat to get some more smoke in 'em.

While that was going on, I mixed some flour, corn starch, salt, pepper, smoked paprika and a spice blend (Pensey's Northwoods Fire) (1 cup : 1 tsp each) in a bowl. In another bowl went a cup of buttermilk, an egg, and 1/2 a cup of water.

Then I decided on a sauce. Mayo, smoked paprika, chili powder, chipotle chili powder,  cayenne pepper, salt, garlic powder, coriander seed, orange peel powder, a dash of hot sauce, and a squeeze of lime. Tasty southwesterny sauce.

In a cast iron pan I heated about 1/2" of peanut oil to 350 F-ish.

I took out the smoked sweetbreads, ran them through the buttermilk wash, then a quick dredge in the flour, and into the oil 3 or 4 at a time. Since they were already cooked, the goal here was just to get a golden fry on them. So maybe a minute total, turned halfway through.

After a couple minutes to cool on a rack, it was the moment of truth.

They were damned tasty. The texture was excellent, there was no offal taste, and I was happy. The only complaint would be the smoke was bit too strong. Next time, no oak.  All apple, or maybe some maple. I'll probably also avoid letting them continue to smoke after they come off the heat.  Then they'll be awesome.

Welcome Back BBT

Well, the indomitable Sir Al Can't Hang has managed to convince a site to let us silly poker bloggers toss some fake chips around again!

Details are at his site, so I imagine anyone reading this has already read that, but that don't mean I can't point you in that direction.

The only issue for me is that it's this Saturday. I will be kicking back with a beer in hand on a gorgeous deck overlooking a beautiful lake in scenic Quebec cottage country at that time. Or I'll be in a hot tub. There's the small possibility I'll be prepping some German Potato Salad or Strawberry-Rhubarb Galettes at the time too, but those will more likely come later.

Point being, I won't be within easy access of a computer. But if I can get this going in some way, I'll be there to play terrible, terrible poker.

Because a cruise wouldn't suck.

Four Ovens

Four is the count. The count is four. Ovens. In my kitchen.

There's the big boy in the middle of the room - dual oven goodness like you see all over the place now. Giant main convection oven that will do most of the heavy lifting, and drawer oven below, suitable for flatter things like pies or casseroles or cookies.

That's two.

Above that is the microwave. Which sneakily doubles as a second convection oven (it also triples as a fan and quadruples as a light, but that's boring). So three ovens in one vertical section of kitchen.

Then the toaster oven. Saviour of many a Thanksgiving and Christmas. It will mostly be used for toast, but come those holidays of gluttonous gastronomy, I'm sure it will find itself on the "bake" setting.

Four ovens. Not so ridiculous seeming now.

The kitchen nears completion. It wants for a proper counter top, back splash, dishwasher, sink and faucets, and finishing touches, but it definitely can't be mistaken for anything other than a kitchen now. So much so that I cooked a couple meals over the weekend for the first time in weeks.

Herbed pork chops on Saturday, Serrano-wrapped chicken stuffed with feta, red pepper and onion on Sunday.

I'm a bit out of practice. The chops were overcooked to the point of being dry. Part of that may be in the getting used to convection cooking, most of it's from just not trusting my instincts. I'll figure it out, along with the induction stove.

The place will look gorgeous when it's all done. I keep walking in there and smiling. There are a few cosmetic issues I'm having, but I'll hold off any final judgment until the silicone is dry and the trim is painted.  I've been promised that will be by Friday.  Yes, I'll hold off the ranting until after then.

Oh, and there will be pictures of course.

Fried Chicken

I can't take any credit for this one, but I made some fried chicken over the weekend... and it was AMAZING.

Recipe can be found over at Bon Appétit. I bought this issue because of the giant picture of a fried chicken leg on the cover and the bold claim of the best fried chicken ever.

A few notes:

1.- Make sure you use kosher salt, regular salt will make it too salty according to the comments.
2.- I substituted half the paprika with smoked paprika, because smoked paprika is awesome.
3.- Use cast iron pan with high sides. I imagine most complaints of splattering are from low-side pans. Remember, hot oil splatters, and Archimedes figured out a few thousand years ago that putting stuff in liquid makes the liquid go higher.
4.- I found the chicken took a couple extra minutes to cook through than claimed.
5.- Thermometers can never be overrated. I had a deep fry thermometer in the pan, but took it out because it wasn't getting an accurate reading. That's why I had my Thermapen out as well, which I used to check oil temp and meat temp for doneness.
6.- I used a full bottle (just under a litre/around a quart) of peanut oil in a 12-14" skillet

Peanut Butter Ice Cream

A side-effect of knowing your kitchen is going to be out of commission for a few weeks is that the drive to use it increases.

This past weekend saw some excellent meals - amazingly simple and delicious pork chops from Julia Child (the secret is butter), tasty potatoes, stuffed chicken thighs, and waffles from Robuchon (these were not all in one meal).

But the unseasonable heat from last week (which I am thrilled has broken) led to some cooler options as well.

Among those was peanut butter ice cream.

A nearby restaurant has some as part of a rather good dessert of chocolate ganache, caramelized banana, and the ice cream.  The ice cream is the best part, although caramelized bananas are always tasty.

Now, knowing a bit about making ice cream, and having settled on a reliable and delicious base recipe, I knew this was something I could make at home with relative ease.

Note: This could destroy any diet plans you have.

Peanut Butter Ice Cream

Equipment
Ice Cream Maker
Wooden spoon
Whisk
2 qt pot
2 big mixing bowls
1 medium mixing bowl (that fits inside one of the big ones)
Ladle
Strainer
Silicon/rubber spatula for scraping down sides
Ice
Water

Ingredients
2 cups whipping/heavy cream
1 cup milk
1/2 cup sugar
Pinch of kosher salt
4 egg yolks
1/3 cup + 1 heaping tablespoon peanut butter

Prepare an ice bath - half fill one of the big bowls with water, and dump a whack of ice cubes in it. If you want, you can also add salt, which speeds up the release of the cold.

Combine the cream, milk, sugar, and salt in the pot.  Heat over medium heat, stirring regularly, until just scalded (small bubbles for along the side) - or 175F if you're being precise (I am). Remove from heat.

Whisk the egg yolks in a large bowl until creamy and thickening. 1-2 minutes by hand, or use an electric beater.

SLOWLY ladle about half the hot cream mixture into the eggs, WHISKING THE WHOLE TIME.  If you put the cream in too quickly, or aren't stirring the eggs, you can end up cooking and scrambling the yolks, which makes for breakfast, not ice cream.

Add the egg-cream mixture back into the pot, and cook over medium-low heat, stirring constantly with a wooden spoon.  Cook until thick enough to coat the back of the spoon. The traditional method is to run your finger through the coating on the back of the spoon, and if the line holds, it's good. 185F is the max temp it should be.

STRAIN the mixture into a clean bowl and place the bowl into the ice bath, careful not to let the water into the mixture.  Stir occasionally until the mixture is cold.  You may need to add more ice to the bath, you may not.

Remove from the ice bath.

Combine about 1 cup of the mixture with the peanut butter and stir/whisk until combined. Add the peanut butter mixture back to the rest and stir until combined.

Pour the whole thing in your ice cream maker according to its instructions.  When it's done, transfer to a container and freeze for 3 hours to harden.  Or just eat it soft.

Enjoy!

A Dozen Things Change Before You Start

Kitchen reno.

The room looks no different than a month ago, but swaths of my time have been consumed by working on it.

Things change. A couple weeks ago I had my cabinets picked out, and some idea on appliance. Last week I no longer had those cabinets picked out, but had changed my mind twice on a fridge. Today, new cabinets picked, but with custom modifications (ie.- the drawer fronts are terrible, so different ones must be found), and I'm fighting over the countertop (I want it, my guy is having a hard time getting it). Oh, and the price went up a few grand because I don't want to be breathing urea-formaldehyde while watching my doors warp.

I haven't even looked at tiles yet.

I find it interesting that a kitchen reno (or any reno, but this works better here) mirrors an ad hoc recipe in so many ways.  You have a general idea for the finished product, be it room or roast, and you know what general ingredients are needed. However, as you mix items together, and discover new ones, you keep altering the mix. A change in one spice might mean discarding another. A different fridge model now means you have to run a water line across the room. Luckily, the concrete ceiling has opened up the opportunity for hidden infrastructure in the small dropped drywall that's required.

Meanwhile, pages of "don't ever buy this crap brand" fly by in my search for appliance reviews. Apparently nobody makes anything that doesn't explode. Caveat emptor? Perhaps Caveat lector when it comes to reading reviews. Am I right Latin majors? Yah.

But this is a multi-course meal where timing is key. Cabinets have to be ordered this week. Tiles have to be waiting for installation 2 weeks before the cabinets arrive. Paint a few days after that. Countertops need to be in after the cabinets are installed. Appliances have to arrive at the end, but the old appliances have to be out before demo begins. Oh, and don't forget the sink and faucet in all that.

But hey, mise en place. If all these ingredients are lined up, prepared, and portioned at the start, the whole process goes more smoothly. I've got the cabinets figured out, barring any curve balls (touch wood), I've got my stove, microwave, and brand, I just need a model. Sink? Still some work on that front. Faucet? Not even up to bat. Tiles for the backsplash? An idea for sure. Floor? Need to see what's out there. Some countertop and door samples would be nice for that bit.

Paint? Yah... see everything else first.

If cabinets are ordered this week (they should be), then I have a bit less than a month to get the rest in line, and two months before I'm clumsily chopping garlic while being in awe of my new oven and trying to get used to the sound of ice getting automatically dumped into a bucket. I'll wait a while after that before I look at my bank account.

Orris

There's a relatively new restaurant in Toronto called Woodlot. I don't think I can over-recommend it. A small menu of delicious food and excellent drinks.

I went last month and ordered what was essentially a beefed up Gin & Tonic, then ordered another one because it was delicious.

I didn't note all the ingredients, but one that stuck out was orris root. I'd never heard of this before, and ye olde Googles turned up some answers. It's an iris root that's been dried and is commonly used in perfume, although it was once an herbal medicine.

So, not something that shows up in your local grocery store.

But, then I found some store of impossible-to-find herbs and spices not that far from me, and lo they did have this dried root.

Then Absinthetics went and tweeted about ras el hanout, a north African spice mixture that can contain orris root, and this got me thinking back to that drink.

So last night I searched my brain for what else was in that drink of many weeks past, and came up with something, while not the same, still solid, if a bit different.

I put around 1/2 a teaspoon of dried orris root in a tea ball and dropped that in 3.5 oz of good gin (I was running low, so it was a combination of Hendrick's and Tanqueray). The longer you let it steep, the more of a flowery flavour it imparts.  I'd go with lavender, even though the root's been compared to violets (and it's from an iris).  So unless you want to drink a bouquet, don't overdo it.

Along with the teaball of root, I dropped in a slice of lemon, a bay leaf, and a couple dried juniper berries (a la José Andres' gin and tonic, which has caused a not-cheap addiction to buying Fever Tree tonic whenever I pass it). This all sat in the gin while I prepared dinner and the rest of the drink. Perhaps a bit too long.

I put a glass in the freezer for a bit, and when I was ready to finish the drink, I dropped some ice in and poured in a bit of vermouth.  The vermouth as swirled with the ice, and then dumped out, with the ice kept in the glass.

I took out the root, and dumped the rest into the chilled, vermouth-coated glass. I then topped off the glass (about 50%) with some Fentiman's Tonic Water and gave it a quick stir.

The result? A gin and tonic with more depth and complexity. Yes, there was definitely some flowery flavour in there, since I had no idea how well the orris root would work - next time, less time steeping.  But very drinkable, and a nice change of pace.

Even The Best Have Issues

A month or two (or three) ago, I picked up some frozen wild boar shoulder.  It sat in my freezer until last weekend.

As my kitchen reno looms, an effort to clear out foodstuffs rolls on, and 2.75 lbs of boar shoulder takes up a bit of room. So out it came, thinking I'd just roast it up like any ol' piece of pork.

Luckily, I looked up some stuff, and it turns out boar can do with some solid marinating. So as it thawed in my fridge, I explored options.

My best friend, who knows me well, got me The Complete Robuchon for Christmas. I had yet to have made anything from it, but this seemed in general vicinity of its alley.  I was right. "Roast Haunch of Young Boar" largely fit the bill, except for the shoulder vs haunch aspect.

So I dutifully gathered the ingredients - pork bones, herbs, juniper berries, shiraz, etc., and assembled the marinade. Piece of cake, except for finding pig bones. Those took visits or calls to 9 different butchers, the last of which was just about to toss his out with the rest of the cuttings from that day's delivery.

Regardless, the meat sat in the marinade for around 20 hours. I took it out, and let it rest on the counter to warm up as I prepared everything else. The probe thermometer still read chillier than I'd like, but time was a-wastin' and I was hungry, so in it went.

Lucky me, I used the thermometer.  See, Jöel calls for "40 minutes at 400, basting every 10 minutes, turning halfway through".

20 min in, the outside of the meat was still cold, the interior temperature wasn't even at room, and there was no way this would be ready.

40 min in the interior temp was now rising steadily.  An hour in, it was approaching the hope it might be done that night.

I was confused. I've done plenty of roasts, and never seen this slow a rise.  I double checked with my Thermapen (another great gift from the same friend)... same reading.  Everything else in the oven (vegetables in the pan, potatoes to the side) was cooking fine.

An hour and half in, I turned it off, let it rest, and decided to only eat the ends.  It was delicious, but also an hour later than I had planned.  Also, the ends were well-done, but a quarter through was medium rare. In the middle was a small section that was still raw.  Not rare. Raw. The thing had been thawing for 4 days, and was under 3 lbs.  No way it was still frozen, but that's exactly how it cooked - as if it was rock solid instead of the floppy hunk of roast I pulled out of the marinade.

Regardless, it generally worked out, but I could only imagine if I'd just followed the 40 minutes instruction - cold, raw meat, bleeding all over the place.  I'm surprised that the Robuchon book would rely on timing instead of temperature. The book is only 4 years old, so it's not like it predates the era of kitchen thermometers.

What I've pulled from that is simple - good flavour combination, but next time I'm cooking it my way.

Also, I can't wait until I have a new oven.

Wasting Away

According to the multiple apps I enter my weight into daily, it's been 40 days since I declared I was going to lose some of this middle section of me.

40 days. 5 5/7 weeks. 4 lbs. 0.7lbs/week.

The goal was 0.5 lbs per week, so I'm ahead of schedule! The Superbowl jammed me back up, but that was gone a week later.

It's odd doing this slow-and-steady method. I'm not exercising any more, but I'm definitely eating way less crap. I look at a bag of chips and can only taste the grease. I feel like a pop and I can taste the sugar. If I want some candy, I have a little bit of chocolate or some flavoured hunk of sugar and move on.  My candy jar at work has been empty since the new year.  My trips to pick up snacks downstairs have become a rare occurrence, and even then I return with peanuts, almonds, or dried fruit.

I have a lot more salads, wraps, sandwiches, and soups.  The Greek, Thai, and burger places around around here have forgotten what I look like.

At home, I still cook - chili this weekend. Also applesauce to save some apples that were on their way to inedible. Oh, and I whipped up a batch of an attempt at Ben & Jerry's Cool Britannia for a friend (and also me), but switched the cream/milk proportions (and added more yolk) to cut the fat.  Portions of that will be still be small.  But of course, anything I make at home will be far healthier than whatever pre-made stuff I could pick up. After all, it's "real" food.

The only really successful attempt at weight loss in my past was comparatively rapid. 15 lbs in 3 months, daily exercise and extensive calorie counting. I kept that weight off for a year, and then very slowly gained it back over 4-5 years, then passed it, then kept going.  11 lbs more to lose before I'm back to that old high.  Then 10 more before I hit my current goal. Maybe I'll aim for another 5 after that.

This time I'm hoping the long-view attempt at weight loss will result in it staying off - because I'll have spent a year eating healthier, and getting my body off the crap I would think nothing about eating.

I know that at some point I'll plateau. My body will hit an equilibrium where just cutting the crap won't result in weight loss. That's when I'll try and start getting the daily exercise routine back into play to keep on track.

Oscar-Winning Annoyance

I suppose I could put this on Filmchaw too, but it's more rant than review.

TIFF runs more than their big annual festival in these parts. They have a rather impressive tower now that houses theatres, workshops, a gallery, and other film-related stuff. In many ways, it's a year-round festival of various films and concepts.

They've just started this season's various series(es?), one of which is Food on Film. This series consists of 6 films about food, followed by a Q&A with a chef of some fame.

Last night kicked off with Babette's Feast and a Q&A with Scott Conant (owns Scarpetta, judges on Chopped, been on Top Chef).  The movie won the best foreign film Oscar for a reason.  Conant gets on TV for a reason. These two things were able to drag this first event above its two shortcomings.

First, the good. Babette's Feast is a Danish film about a small, remote, fishing village/religious sect.  The people live a pious life with little luxury. Meals are a mush of bread and ale, or saltfish soup.  Along comes Babette, a French woman escaping the French revolution of the mid 1800's.  She slowly adjusts these simple meals - a little bacon, a spring of rosemary, some onions. Nothing much, just enough that the locals notice and appreciate it.

Then an anniversary comes up and she offers to make a French feast for the village. This brings up questions of spiritual devotion among the faithful, and memories of one man's greatest meal ever. It's a hell of a feast, and a great piece of film-making.  If you can take subtitles, don't mind a slow start, and like food - it's a must-see.

After the film, Conant showed himself to be affable, confident (almost to the point of arrogant, but not quite in that annoying way), gracious, and a good interview.  Sadly, Jason Bangerter, the executive chef of the TIFF restaurants isn't much of an interviewer.

The night started with the resident Chef receiving an introduction that seemed to go on forever. Every restaurant he worked at was listed in detail. I'm surprised it didn't start with "His first dish was a sublime scrambled egg he made whilst still in utero".  By the end of the celebration of Bangerter, you'd think the guy was the second coming of Joël Robuchon. In comparison, Conant was practically introduced as "some guy who cooks."  I'm not sure how you get away with talking up the interviewer more than the guest.

Bangerter's interview style was very much the "I ask a question, you respond, then I move to the next with wooden grace" style.  Rarely was it conversational, nor did he seem able to follow up on interesting answers.  Or if he did, it was in the middle of another answer, as if it took 2 or 3 minutes for what he heard to sink in. Considering this should be a meeting of peers, where the insights of an accomplished chef add to the observations of a celebrity chef regarding a movie about food, it fell flat. I hope he improves as the series goes on.

But that was overshadowed by the woman in my vicinity who wouldn't shut up. Before the movie, during the movie, during the Q&A, it was an endless stream of patronizing pedantry and agonizing arrogance spewing from her.  "Oh, I'm only seeing this one, because none of the other films hold any interest at all for me."  "That's a black truffle." (said in the "how can he not know that?" tone when an audience member was asking a question).  Commentary loud enough to drown out the dialogue of the film. The ire was already rising by the time she took the mic for the Q&A and felt she had to correct an audience member, and both executive chefs on the stage with this stunning piece:

"It wasn't a cow's head. It was a calf's head."

Thanks. The world needed that minutiae shared. I suppose her point was it was veal demi-glaçe and not a beef one, but throw in the attitude and audacity and I wanted to tear into her. THEN she gets into an "argument" about women in the kitchen with Conant. Her point, "Woman have always been a force in the kitchen in Italy."  This was in regards to an earlier discussion about how women are becoming more prevalent in restaurant kitchens in North America.  Conant's response was along the lines of, "I wouldn't limit it to Italy. There are amazing female chefs in Spain, Hong Kong. Michelin Star chefs. There's one that is easily one of the top 50 in the world in Italy and everyone should try her food if they have the chance."  In short, he agreed and expanded. She came back with "No, but I'm talking Italy. Like, if you go back a few years, they've been big in Italy."  It was like she was expecting an argument and didn't know how to deal with agreement. An obviously annoyed Conant came back with "Sure, there was Catherine de' Medici if you really want to go back."

As she spoke, the nails-on-chalkboard annoyance across the room was palpable.  I'm incredibly happy she won't be at any future screenings in the series.I also gave an internal cheer when she was, once again, answering audience questions to nobody in particular and was just wrong enough to be wrong. [under her breath loud enough for everyone in a two row radius to hear] "It was sour cream."  [Conant] "That was crème fraiche."

But despite these unsavoury aspects, the film and guest were able to elevate the experience. It's a solid concept for a series, and I look forward to the upcoming films. After all, you can't control who buys a ticket.

BBQ Sauce

Yellow onion - chopped and sweated in oil and butter
3 cloves garlic - minced and tossed in onions for 2 min
Ketchup
Brown sugar
Worcestershire sauce
Cider vinegar
White vinegar
Smokey BBQ vinegar
Juice of 1/2 a lemon
Garlic powder
Onion powder
Orange peel powder
Nutmeg
Smoked paprika
Roasted garlic salt
Hickory smoked salt
Alderwood smoked salt
Habanero salt
Ghost pepper salt
Black pepper
Ground ghost pepper
Habanero powder
Cayenne powder
Chipotle powder
Ancho chili powder
Chipotle Tabasco
Liquid smoke
Penzeys Northwoods Fire seasoning
Dried jalapeno flakes
Susie's teardrops
Susie's original hot sauce
Smoked chipotle hot sauce
Soy sauce
High fat cocoa powder
Apricot Wheat beer
Jack Daniels

I think that's it...

Stir and boil... blend with immersion blender (if it's metal. Plastic blenders will have to wait until cool). Simmer to reduce.

Sweet, spicy, BBQ sauce. I could probably remove half those ingredients without noticing a difference... or maybe not. It mellows substantially when cooked on chicken. I now have a large squeezable ketchup bottle full of the stuff. Better find me some ribs.

Year in Review

- I didn't post much
- I tweeted a bunch
- I didn't play much poker. When I did, I lost.
- I travelled - Montreal, New York, Buffalo a bunch, Orlando, Montreal again, Vegas.
- In most of those places, I ate some fantastic food. Orlando wasn't anything spectacular on that front.
- I didn't cook nearly as much as I should have. Especially nothing new or exciting.
- I took a ton of pictures. I've so far posted almost none of them.
- I saw Dawn Summers, Mary, and VinNay more than most of my non-blogger friends
- I took some photography classes, and learned that 3 per week is too much for me. Down to 1 per week next semester.
- I lost in Vegas money-wise, but won friends and food-wise.

Come 2011?

Probably more of the same. Already planning another trip to Montreal (they have such good food), and Vegas is permanently in the schedule. The rest is pretty open right now. Maybe I'll try and play more poker and actually work on and post some pics - there are so many I want to share. I also expect to be cooking a whole bunch more soon. Let's start simple with some fondue and egg nog for New Year's. I make awesome nog.

How To Go Out of Business

I have a carbonator at home that I use to make my own soda. It works simply enough, insert bottle of water, blast with CO2. But the canisters need to be replaced from time-to-time.

And they're specific to the brand.

So I have to visit a local store to swap them. I give them my old one and some money, they give me a new full one. Simple enough, except that stores that are part of the program are few and far between in these parts. If I was in the States, any Williams-Sonoma would do.

I was thrilled a while back when I found a store that had just started carrying them within walking distance of me. On Friday, I decided to pay them a visit and swap my canister. A friend of mine has a similar system (same company) and decided to come with to swap her canister as well.

We walked in, and she grabbed a flavour syrup while I went to the cash. I pulled out my canister and said I wanted to swap. The owner reached behind the counter and pulled out a replacement. Then my friend pulled out her canister, an older model, but still on the plan. He balked, saying, "We don't do that company."

"It's the same company."

"No it isn't, this is Soda Stream, that is Soda Club."

"Soda Stream is Soda Club's new name - same company, same plan."

"Well, I don't have those canisters."

"That's fine, we want one of the new ones. The company website says they're exchangeable."

"Well, I don't know if I can, I'll have to check."

"Okay, fine."

At this point, my friend puts away her canister and decides to put back the flavour syrup, as she has no use for it without a working carbonator. The owner says, "You aren't going to buy that?"

"No, there's no point."

And he starts to put away MY replacement.

"Wait, I'm still exchanging my canister."

"No, I only have 6, not enough to bother."

"What? You don't want my money?"

"I don't care. It's not worth my time, I only have enough for serious customers."

I start to lose it a little.

"Seriously?? I come here, wanting to PAY YOU for a product, and now you're telling me no? Why?"

"Because you're being difficult."

"I'M being difficult? All we asked was if you could exchange this, and when you said you had to check, we said okay."

"My distributor is very difficult, he won't do it."

"You don't know that. So now you're not even going to check? You can log on to the website right now."

"No."

"Fine, you don't want our business, you won't get it."

"Good. Go someplace else. I'm sick of this product. It's for misers."

"Excuse me? Now you're judging your customers? I bought one of everything on this shelf last time I was here, and you've guaranteed you won't see another dime from me."

"Fine, go to another store."

"I will."

I'm not unreasonable, neither is my friend. At "I'll have to check", we accepted that. For some reason, he then decided that if MY FRIEND wasn't spending an extra $7, then I wouldn't be served either.

So fuck Pepper Mill at Hazelton Lanes. The owner obviously wants to see his overpriced kitchen gadget store go under. He'll undoubtedly blame the customers, not the godawful customer service.

On the upside, this lead me to check for other sources, and some even closer to me have opened up recently. So not only did this asswipe's attitude lead me to stop visiting his store, but has led me to other stores! I'm sure the owners there will be grateful for the business he's sent them.

Anyone who's seen my kitchen, and the room next to it, and the closet, and the pantry, might be aware of my affinity for kitchen gadgets and utensils and appliances... not the asshole running the shop at Pepper Mill though.

Oh, and it turns out he was right - store owners can't exchange for the old ones, it has to be done directly - but he wasn't even willing to check, changed his story at least 3 times, and was incomprehensibly rude. Quality service from top to bottom. But hey, at least the people at Soda Stream were friendly and helpful when I called.

Poached Pears

It's been a while since I've done a food post here. No time like the present!

I hit the market on Saturday and perhaps overbought.



I live alone.

So I have all these sugar pears to do something with. Dinner was mostly raw veggies in salad-form (also getting rid of some of the pile). So I decided on poached pears for dessert.

Using these:



That would be the pears (I ended up using 4), a vanilla bean, candied ginger, cloves, allspice, a dried lemon, and cinnamon. All of this would go into the syrup of water (1L), sugar (1/2 cup), maple syrup (1/2 cup), and blueberry honey (2 tbsp).

I warmed the syrup up to dissolve all the sugar. While this was happening, I quickly peeled the pears and halved/quartered and cored them. Then I put the pears and other ingredients seen above in the syrup, over medium heat.

I cut out a circle of parchment paper, with a hole in the middle, and put it on top of the pears to keep them submerged.

I kept the syrup at a low boil and about 20 minutes later, the pears were cooked.



Then I dropped some dried cranberries into the still hot syrup and let them plump up as the pears and syrup cooled.

After cooling, the pears were removed and the syrup strained to remove all the other stuff.

I put the syrup back on the stove on medium-high and boiled it down to about half the starting amount.

Then I got impatient and put the syrup in an ice bath to cool it quickly.

I scooped out some homemade caramel ice cream I have, put a few pears and cranberries on it, and drizzled the syrup on top.



Yah, that ice cream melts fast, and I wanted to eat it.

It was delicious.

And I have leftovers.

BBT5 Square 1

I'm exhausted today. Why? Because I in a foul mood for hours after the PftR game last night.

The evening started off poorly when I tried to get rush tickets to a doc I really wanted to see. My own stupid last minute change in plans and lack of compensating for the extra time resulted in my being too far back in line to have a chance. But I stuck it out anyway. Kicking myself on the walk back, I figured I'd soothe my mood by picking up some quality food if the Healthy Butcher was open. Nope, missed it by half an hour.

I cabbed it the rest of the way, and opted to turn just over a pound of ground elk into spaghetti sauce.

Caramelized some onions, softened up some yellow pepper and zucchini, all with a bit of salt and a mix of fats (vegetable oil, olive oil, butter, garlic oil, and bacon fat). Added garlic just before tossing in some ground star anise, and then browning the elk with it all. Shake some fish sauce on top (mmmm... umami), ground coriander seed, and more salt. Some canned tomatoes were added to the mix with dried oregano, smoked paprika, and a bit of cayenne. Bring to a simmer. Taste, added a mix of green peppercorns, black peppercorns, cubeb pepper, white peppercorns that were mortar and pestled. A splash of hot sauce, some spicy sundried tomato hemp pesto, and a couple splashes of worcestershire sauce finished it off.

It was delicious, and served on some barolo-infused pasta that my best friend got me ages ago and gently reminded me I'd never opened. Also delicious.

Having cooked some tasty, I was back in a happy place, 10 minutes before game time.

I sat down, and on the 3rd hand I saw KJo. Buddydank put a standard raise out and I called in position.

Flop comes KdJdx. Okay, top 2. Buddy bets, I raise, and he calls.

Turn comes 3d. Buddy checks, I bet, and he thinks and pushes. I have BDR on, and he's talking about how he's putting me to the test here. I review the hand so far, and figure there's no what he turned a flush. The talk on the radio is obviously meant to make me think he's weak. But I figure he's fairly strong here. Knowing it's Buddy, I put him on AK and make the call, and am willing to go home now if he's got AKd.

He shows AdAx. Stronger than I thought, but for all intents and purposes, the same thing. Before I can say "here we go" the 4th diamond hits the river, giving Buddy the 4-flush and sending me to the rail as Gigli.

Sure, it was the first level, and I could have folded on the turn, but you have to go with your reads, or why bother playing? If I win there, Buddy's gone, I'm the chipleader 3 hands in, and I can loosen up BIG TIME and maybe build a significant chipstack early on. I can't be pissed with Mr. Dank, but I can be plenty upset about the river. And I was.

This hand covered everything I needed to do to up my game in this tournament. Trusting my reads, making a good one, and being aggressive. I just needed a touch more luck, and I'm off to the races. In the end, if you get the money in good, and the river kills you, that's poker.

Still, I was back to a foul mood. So I fired up Arkham Asylum and beat the crap out of Joker's goons. Then I quit and played angry super turbo SnG's. The $5 one didn't go so well, but I was HU in the $10 one before the 25/50 level was over. Properly revenged on poker, I called it a night.

Except when I hit the pillow, I couldn't sleep. Bad moods will do that. At some point, exhaustion won. Still, today's looking to be a foggy one.

The Search is On

There's a cafe in Montreal that serves a pretty great cappuccino. It also serves possibly the best non-nostalgia-laced (ie.- granny's) chocolate chip cookie I've ever had. Big, melted, soft, delicious.

I have no idea how they make it.

Well, that's not entirely true. Obviously, they have a chocolate chip cookie recipe. The problem being, there are so many variations on this classic, and every one changes the cookie in measurable ways.

More white sugar? Crisper. More brown sugar? Chewier.

More baking soda = more spread. Milk makes it chewier too and spreads it.

Cake flour? better lift. Bread flour? Chewier again.

More yolks than whites = moister.

Shortening holds up better than butter, but butter has more flavour. What about lard?

Salt - you need it, but if you sprinkle it on top, you can get a whole different taste.

Semi-sweet, dark, bittersweet, milk chocolate? Each one alters it.

Letting the dough sit in the fridge for 36 hours has a different effect than leaving it for 12, or not at all (moisture spreads more evenly).

Big chips vs small chips affect the chocolate distribution.

Even the cookie size can alter the texture and taste.

I don't even know what my grandmother's recipe was, and I loved that one. But now, I must attempt to replicate this cookie from another city... without the benefit of easy access to comparative samples.

I spent an inordinate amount of time tasting the last of the cookies I had. Trying to divine its secrets. Butter? Shortening? No fat at all? More brown sugar than white? Salty? Eggy?

All I knew for sure was that it was delicious, and used giant semi-sweet chunks and big milk chocolate chips. I lack both of those, but do have the respective regular-sized chips. So an attempt must be made.

In fact, I doubt I'll nail it first go. So many attempts must be made.

That's a lot of cookies.

Tasty Quiche

I once made some crustless quiche. It was good. Last night I opted to go with the more traditional version. Why? because I had a bunch of broken eggs. Sadly, I waited to long to use them and they got tossed instead. I opted to crack some fresh eggs since I'd already started.

Quiche can be pretty simple, even if the ingredient list looks long. It's really just eggs (I've seen anywhere from 2-6, with most recipes in the 3-4 range), a cup of dairy, and 1 1/4 cups of cheese. Everything else is whatever filler you like. Here's my version from dinner:



Single shell pie crust (half of this recipe works nicely, but you could also just go store-bought, or use your grandmother's recipe, whatever. Note, the recipe I linked to comes together quickly, but needs at least an hour in the fridge)

5 or 6 or so slices of peameal bacon

2 oz butter
2 large leeks, chopped
1 medium cooking onion, chopped
salt
fresh ground pepper
1 clove garlic, minced
1/3 cup water
A few leaves of fresh basil, chopped

3 eggs
1 cup half-and-half, or milk, or any cream % you like
dill (I used dried, but fresh would be better)
basil (I used dried, but fresh would be better)
smoked paprika
cayenne pepper
pinch of fresh-ground nutmeg

Around 1 1/4 cups of your favourite cheeses, grated. 1 cup of a Swiss variety + 1/4 cup parmesan are standard. I used gruyère, applewood smoked chedddar, 6 year old white cheddar, roasted garlic havarti, jalapeno jack, and parmesan reggiano.


- Preheat oven to 350F

- I'll assume the pie crust is in a pie pan. If not, put it there. If you're using your own pie pan, greasing it first might be a good idea.

- If the pie crust is raw, put a sheet of parchment paper or greased foil (slippery-side down) on the crust and weigh it down with ceramic pie weights or dried beans. Bake in oven for 12-15 minutes, take out weights and paper/foil, and bake for a few more minutes until golden brown. Remove from oven and let cool while working on the rest.

- Cut up the bacon into small squares. Whatever size you're comfortable having in the quiche
- Fry the bacon pieces in a large frying pan over medium heat until cooked
- Remove the bacon and drain on a paper towel

- Melt the butter on the same pan. If the bacon was particularly fatty, you can use less butter. Mine left almost no fat behind.
- Once the butter is melted, add chopped leeks and onion to pan. Add a few pinches of salt and pepper. Sauté for around 5 minutes, until leeks are softened and onion is turning transparent
- Add 1/3 cup of water and bring to boil
- Stir, and cover. Cook for 15 minutes, stirring occasionally.
- Add minced garlic, cook 5 more minutes, covered
- If still watery, remove cover and cook away liquid. You should have a moist, but not soupy, mass of leek and onion and garlic.
- Taste and adjust seasoning accordingly. Turn off heat, add chopped basil, and let cool slightly.

- In a large measuring cup, mixing cup, or high-sided bowl, combine eggs, milk, and remaining seasonings
- Using an immersion blender or whisk, beat mixture to a froth. A hand-held mixer will also work here.

- Put the pie pan on a flat baking pan to protect from overflow

- Layer half the bacon and leek-onion mixture in the pie crust
- Sprinkle 1/3 of the cheese over this layer
- Pour half the egg mixture into the crust
- Layer the rest of the bacon and leek-onion mixture
- Sprinkle 1/3 of the cheese over this layer
- Pour the remaining egg mixture in
- Top with the remaining cheese

- Put the whole thing, baking pan and all, in the oven, and bake 30-40 minutes. The quiche is done when the top is lightly browned. There should still be some jiggle to the filling.

- Let cool 10 minutes before serving.

- Enjoy!


It was delicious. It SHOULD take about half an hour to assemble if you're using a pre-made crust, and another 30-40 minutes baking. If you make your crust from scratch, factor that into the time required.

As I said, the fillings are your choice. No peameal bacon? Regular bacon is standard. Basically, anything that goes well with eggs works here too. Asparagus? Broccoli? Tomatoes? All great options.

Next one I make will follow Michael Ruhlman's recipe, which involves a 2" cake pan, and 8 hours of refrigeration...

One Serving of Pudding

One of my earliest favourite recipes was microwave chocolate pudding. It was fairly easy, kinda cool to watch cook, and tasty. Plus - chocolate pudding in a matter of minutes. What's not to like?

I had the recipe written down on a round piece of paper that I tore off an old giant drawing pad I had on my desk when I was a kid. Every time I thought I'd lost it, it would pop up again. I can't remember the last time I saw it.

So I looked online, and lo and behold found the recipe again. Or at least one so similar that it might as well have been it.

And I reduced it to a single serving.

4 tsp cornstarch
1 tbsp cocoa (cocao, not hot chocolate mix)
2 tbsp sugar
Pinch of salt

1/2 cup milk

1/4 tsp vanilla extract
1 1/4 tsp butter

Combine the first 4 ingredients in a microwave-safe bowl.

Add a splash of the milk and stir, creating a paste. Add more milk if needed, stirring until you have a generally smooth paste.

Slowly add the rest of the milk, stirring as you go. It should look like chocolate milk when you're done.

Put in the microwave, cook for 30 seconds on high. Stir. Cook another 30 seconds. Stir. One shot at 30 seconds.

Quickly add the butter and vanilla, and stir until combined and smooth.

Let cool a few minutes until skin forms. Or until cool if you don't want warm pudding.

Done!

You can also add mint extract for mint chocolate pudding, or any flavour extract you may have and like with chocolate. Raspberry, orange, banana, cinnamon, etc..

There, now it'll be easier for me to find.

Superbowl Menu

Rumour is that a game of American Football was played yesterday in the fictional hamlet of Miami. I believe this rumour because I had half a dozen people over at my place watching burly men throw around an oblong ball and occasionally have a pile-on.

I'm told that's how it usually goes.

Okay, so I can't claim total ignorance of football. I don't really watch it, probably can't tell you the difference between a linebacker and an offensive lineman (seriously, there's a quarterback, a kicker, a receiver, and then a bunch of random positions as far as I'm concerned), but I AM a poseur, and therefore watch the Superbowl every year.

Sometimes, I host the party, other times, I let someone else do the work. This year it was on me. Why? Because I have the newest television.

But this is me, and parties are seldom about whatever the focus is. I do 'em for the people, the prep, and the hope that this will be the night that elves sneak into my place and clean up for me. I even left the door unlocked yesterday. No dice.

It's the Superbowl. That calls for wings, pizza, nachos, beer, etc.. Easy, right?

Well, as long as you don't buy 9lbs of organic raw wings from your local butcher and use a multi-step method of cooking them. Or make your salsa, guacamole, and chili from scratch. Or decide that variety is the spice of life when it comes to beer. Or get up an hour later than planned.

Yup, I figured it was high time I did my own wings. No freezer box or take-out option would do. So I bought 9 lbs of raw wings, and used Alton Brown's Buffalo wings recipe to prep them. That requires steaming, drying, chilling, baking, and coating, and around 2 hours. 3 types of hot sauce in the Buffalo sauce in my case too - because I wanted to get rid of 'em. 20 were done Buffalo style, 20 were done with a maple-bourbon sauce, and 20 were left unseasoned because they weren't needed and I'll make 'em something tasty soon. I did make a slight adjustment in the process though. They were all steamed with beer instead of water. Seemed like a great way to get rid of the shitty stuff that was somehow still in my place.

Oh, that maple-bourbon sauce? Maple syrup, bourbon, ketchup, worcestershire, onion, garlic, shallot, soy sauce, hot sauce, vinegar, salt, pepper, and whatever else I kept tossing in there to tame the sweetness. Turned out well.

I made the salsa Friday, knowing it would need time for the flavours to fuse. Chili was made last week and frozen. The guacamole was the biggest hit, and took about 5 minutes to make.

Avocados, tomato, onion, lime juice, cayenne pepper, chopped jalapeño, ground coriander seed, garlic powder, salt, and maybe a couple other things. Mash it all up and enjoy.

Cheese on the nachos? Mexican spiced cheddar, fresh mozzarella, and jalapeño jack. Oh, and fresh jalapeño pepper, tomato, and onion.

Easy stuff all around, and foods that everyone recognizes. But just the simple fact of being fresh and homemade made them so much better than picking up some jars of Old El Paso and a box of frozen "hot" wings.

And in case you forgot about me and beer... the selection in my fridge yesterday:

Flying Monkeys Hoptical Illusion
Blanche De Chambly
Maudite
Fin Du Monde
Trois Pistoles
Hoegaarden
McAuslan Apricot Wheat
St. Ambroise Oatmeal Stout
Guinness
Kilkenny
Mill Street Coffee Porter
Mill Street Stock Ale

I might have gone overboard...

Nothing Simple

How does one make a tuna melt?

I assume that it's a can of tuna, some mayo, salt, pepper, maybe green onion and celery? Mix it together, put it on a bagel and cover with some cheddar?

Yah.

Or there's me.

Can of tuna. Check.
Green onion. Check.
Celery. Check.
Pepper. Check.

Roasted garlic salt. Check.
Sweet smoked paprika. Check.
Ground coriander seed. Check
Fresh thyme. Check.
Dried dill weed. Check.
Cayenne pepper. Check.

Mayo? Ummm.
How about Miracle Whip? Mixed with some sesame oil, thai fish sauce, soy sauce, and Susie's Original hot sauce? Check.

Combine. Put on top of sourdough bagel.

Grate some cheese. Three varieties of applewood smoked English cheddar, gruyere, and some delicious herbed cheese I forgot I had. Cover the tuna with it.

Toast.

And to think... I was craving baked beans earlier. Forgot about those...