Four Days in the Desert - Day 2a

The alarm in the Aria is a curious beast. From bedside you can program how you want the room to wake you up. I opted for lights on, blackout curtains (but not sheers) to open, and the TV to turn  to CNN (although I found myself turning to FOX news for the pure entertainment value). I also set my phone to make odd noises at the same time to force me to cross the room and shut it off.  After all, I wanted breakfast before heading to the Neon Boneyard.

Everything worked as planned, I fired out a tweet along the lines of "anyone want brunch in an hour?" and promptly crawled back to bed for half an hour. At which point I got the first reply, followed by more. Excellent. 4 of us (Maigrey, BrainMC, Alan, and myself) would be heading to Wicked Spoon at the Cosmopolitan - a buffet I'd been looking forward to since I'd heard about it earlier in the year.

So I rushed around, got presentable and went out the door in search of the buffet. For those who didn't make it out there at some point (and shame on you), Wicked Spoon is on the 2nd floor of the Cosmo, towards the taxi/valet area, past the death rays. Seriously. Death Rays. Cool steampunky Flash Gordon-era death rays mounted on podiums in the hallway.

I found 2/3 of my dining partners in line with Maigrey texting that she was on her way.  I paid for myself and Maigrey and waited for the table to be ready.

Eventually we were all around the eatin' slab and ready to grab some grub.  Wicked Spoon is unique in its presentation of buffet.  Most of the items aren't presented in troughs of goop, but put out in individual servings. A small bowl of salad, a mini-pan of eggs benedict, fruit cups, dessert shots, cup o' sweet and sour pork, etc.. And the carving station is plenty impressive too. Slab bacon, tri-tip, sake marinated turkey in a black pepper glaze, and more.  I never even bothered with the omlette station, but have no doubt it would have also impressed.

I asked for a cappuccino and was told "it costs extra".  Okay, how much? "I'm not sure... around $5?" That's a bit steep, but I wants me my foamy milk on espresso dammit! It was a perfectly serviceable capp that didn't offend. Which is saying lots for a buffet. We never saw a bill though, so I tossed an extra $5 on the tip to cover the cost. Looking back, I probably got hustled for an extra $5 on the tip.

Three or four plates later we were plenty stuffed and Brian and I had a boneyard to visit. Tweets and texts back and forth with PokerVixen and OhCaptain had them wrapping up Vixen's Canadian treachery by becoming a US citizen (totally not part of our continuing plan to invade the states slowly via immigration), and she wanted to get home and change before wandering around a dumping ground for Vegas signage. So, Brian having a car, and standign rigth next to me, I opted to ride with him. OhCaptain would meet us shortly.

But first I needed to swing by my room and grab my camera. Plus, Brian, who was staying at the IP, wanted to see the fancy Aria rooms. He was duly impressed by the geegaws and whosamawutzits in the room and we went in search of the cap'n.

Here was the problem after we found him. Brian's car was at the IP, we were at Aria, and the tour started in 30 minutes.

To the cabs!

A quick ride to the IP and we were doing not terribly on time. Then came the search for the dog tracks.

See, Brian might have been a touch tired when he parked his car the previous night, but he made a point of remembering that there were dog tracks leading him to his parking spot. The problem was, he couldn't remember where the tracks started. So we spent 5 or 10 minutes wandering around the back of the IP looking for dog tracks before finally asking the guys at the oxygen bar/water massage area. Tracks found (they lead to a sqaure of dog bathroom grass because the IP is pet-friendly), we then found the car and were on our way with about 5 minutes to tour start.  That's when we hit highway traffic. Three cops, cars pulled over, multiple arrests.

Luckily, OhCaptain called the boneyard and told them we had no sense of time due to me being on Canadian time or something, and they completely understood his thick Minnesota accent enough to say "whatever, we're starting without you."

We found our way thanks to Google maps and Cap's having been there before.  The tour had indeed started, but was at the "so this is the place we stand to start he tour" phase. Plus the woman in the wheelchair still hadn't made it, so we weren't last. Yes, we were able to beat a wheelchair-bound guest, I'm so proud. Not beat as in battery, but beat as in get there before them.  We clear? No lawsuits? Good.



After the spiel about how they're totally building an indoor museum, we started the tour in the middle with this guy:



Here he is in 3D.  Cross your eyes funny 3D. It's better if you click on him and visit the larger image.



They have lots of piles of letters.



And occasionally even some neon.



Neon is apparently billed per bend in the tube. That thing up there must have cost a fortune. But not as much as this car rental joint's mascot:



The high cost of neon means that a lot of the signage is actually good ol' light bulbs.



We wrapped up at gigantic skull, from the old Barbary Coast, which must have had MASSIVE signage.



For perspective, here's the Googly map of the Boneyard, complete with skull. You may need to turn off 45-degree perspective to really see it.

The Boneyard is a worthwhile way to spend an hour or so of your time. You get plenty of Vegas history stories from the guide and see some cool abandoned signs, if that's your thing. If you have a camera, it's a great place for shots.

From there it was back to The Strip, via Las Vegas Blvd this time, to see the "sights". Man, what a depressing drive that is.  But in many ways, it's a more accurate representation of Vegas, without the veneers and façades that The Strip puts up.

This is, once again, long. So I'll split up day 2 here. Up next - how to combine and epic feast with a roller coaster.

Four Days in the Desert - Day 1b

When we last saw our intrepid Canadian, he was jumping a cab at the Cosmopolitan all by his lonesome to get to the Excalibur. I seem to recall this cabbie actually taking a route that made sense. This opposed to the one who took the highway to the Aria (I wasn't paying attention) earlier in the day.

So I find myself at the Excal and I am, as usual, struck by the cheap cheesiness of the place. But I knew there was a murder (I assume that's the proper group designation) of blogger-types hanging out by the bar, so I just beelined towards Lynyrd Skynyrd's reportedly terrible BBQ joint and swerved at the last second towards the sea of recognizable faces congregated around cheap beers.

I started by giving Bam-Bam a hearty slap on the back, followed by hugs and greetings to the man from Bedrock and his lovely wife Pebbles, who moved from the frosty rolling hills of 45 minutes away from me to the flat golden fields of Saskatchewan (provincial motto: Easy to draw, hard to spell.).  About 5 seconds after this, Bammer tried to convince me to jump in a cab with them and head to The Palms for some HORSE. A game I detest 3/5ths of. Try as he might, he couldn't get me to budge from the Robin Hood-themed drinking establishment I had yet to ensconce myself in.

There was chatting, the some quick chat with newly-minted full-time author John Hartness, an all-too-brief talk with Iggy, hellos to Mattazuma, Yestbay, JoeSpeaker, Lightning, and general all-round chaos as I tried to catch up with 20 people at once.

I of course made some time to talk to Carol (no links because she's secretive that way, but you already know how to find her), who is totally my Vegas foodie insider and all-around awesome person who I don't talk to nearly enough.

Then it was chatting with OhCaptain and PokerVixen about any number of things.  In short, everyone was catching up on their year.  Our 140 character spurts of information and all-too-rare ramblings in these bloggy things just don't measure up to face time with these "Internet friends" (I can't possibly call them imaginary any more).

Somewhere during all this people started to split off and I found myself throwing money away at the Burger Girl machine (slot with a giant burger side-game) while Bam-Bam, Pebbles, and Carol looked on. it was very embarrassing... for the burger girl. Then a tweet came in that OhCaptain was learning craps... so I quickly found myself dropping a few bucks on a craps table with the Cap'n, Maigrey, Gus, Speaker, April, Garth, CJ and Lefty, and eventually Drizz (and maybe others, apologies if I forgot you). Basically, we surrounded the table, and the Excalibur gladly took our money.

However, I did introduce CJ and company to my ideal strategy of ALWAYS playing the come bet and putting full odds on. Regularly stating that "nothing could POSSIBLY go wrong with this." At some point it got dubbed the Canadian strategy. As expected, nothing at all went wrong, except the time I was fully loaded and some asshole sevened out without hitting a single damned point. But that almost never (read: always) happens.

With the craps table holding on tightly to my money, I wandered. I dumped some cash in slots, strolled past table games, and eventually found myself wondering where everybody had gone. Turns out a good chunk were at The Palms, but at this point (some 24 hours since I had woken up to head to Vegas) I really didn't feel like dragging my ass over there to give more money away.  What I DID feel like was a hot dog. Probably from staring at the "beer and dog" banner hanging over the Sherwood Forest bar. I started wandering outside to find food.  I contemplated McD's across the road, but I was on the wrong side of the strip and it wasn't the "nice" one by IP, but the scary one in that odd strip mall between MGM and civilization. Nathan's in New York New York was closing up (and who wants end of night hot dogs?), and I kept walking, dropping money in slots and pulling some out along the way.

I made to the Aria without food and my stomach grumbling most unhappily.  I debated on continuing to the IP in search of food or people, and made it as far as the tram in Crystals before turning around and heading to my room. Thinking, "I'll just grab something snacky off room service." There was no such thing as "snacky" on that menu, and I really didn't want a full dinner.  If only I'd known about Secret Pizza in the Cosmo before I got back home... as it was, I passed out on the ridiculously comfortable bed as sleep beats food cravings most days. Besides, I had to be up in time for breakfast at Wicked Spoon the next morning and a visit to the Neon Boneyard.

Four Days in The Desert - Day 1a

For the first time in the winter gathering, I was travelling solo.  I'd been to WPBT events in the summer by myself, but come December I always had a small entourage of local friends who wanted to gamble it up a bit. This presented a few problems. First we were always co-ordinating flights. Some people couldn't get off work and took later flights, others got delayed a day by vacation scheduling SNAFUs, I would generally be rushing to the airport while others were whiling away the hours waiting for me.

Then we'd get to Vegas and I'd be splitting my time between two groups of friends. The ones I saw regularly, and the ones I saw yearly. My priorities were scrambled.

This year, nobody could come with me. I was a both a little disappointed, and a little relieved. Solo for WPBT is easier. Besides, I'd be returning to Sin City with my usual blokes in January.

In short, I was heading to Vegas by myself to meet up with dozens of friends. I get tired of explaining this to people every year. Maybe I'll tell them I'm going to Scranton. Nobody asks who you're going to Scranton with.

I wisely gave myself some extra time to get to the airport, and the accident on the expressway justified the reduced sleep schedule, for I arrived with still plenty of time to spare.

Not that it mattered too much, as the plane was seemingly delayed about an hour. I'm not sure why, as I was asleep on it as soon as the doors closed, so I didn't notice us sitting on the tarmac the whole time. In fact, I didn't notice we were delayed until I thought, "hrm, we should be there by now."  This put a bit of a kink in my plan to play the Aria 1pm as a Winter Classic warmup.

I strolled through McCarran Terminal 1, a bit concerned about the impending taxi lineup, and tweeted such (yay US roaming plan!). But I won the check-in lottery (2nd bag out) and the taxi stand was a well-oiled operation, so I was checked-in at the Aria by the time I got the "Hey, we just landed and have a rental, want a ride?" tweets.  Bloggers rock.

I was riding the high of being back in Vegas, so decided that yes, I could use some help with my ONE bag, and tipped the bellman as I strolled to the front desk.

The past couple of years I've slipped $20 to the check-in clerk at the Bellagio and am running about 75%. Yes, 2/3 of 2.  The first year was a slam dunk with the penthouse floor room with a lake view (you all know the picture that resulted). The second year was a bit of confusion. Spa tower, strip/lake view, 8th floor. But she didn't touch the $20 and made no suggestion that an upgrade had been given. So I kept the cash.

This year I opted to try a different route. I'd ask for the basic upgrade first (strip view, preferably higher up) and tip if I got it.  No dice.  "I'm sorry, we don't have any strip rooms available, but we do have a very nice room clean and ready for you with a mountain view." Fine... no tip for you.

Ah yes, Aria. Fancy new hotel in the centre of The Strip. I was intrigued by it last year, and April  had swung a pretty solid deal for us degenerates this year.

Sixteen floors up I walked into this:

 

Well, I thought, this ain't too shabby. Purple, but nice. I think I made the right call. The rooms were nice, the bed was amazingly comfortable, and the elevators were fast. Being plunked down two doors from the elevator bank made for a particularly easy walk, with surprisingly little hallway annoyance.



That clock there? It controls the whole room. It's the god-clock. Blinds, lights, TV, you name it, the clock controls it. I think I could have ordered room service from it.  The technology in Aria is well-used. Although a couple light switches wouldn't hurt.

I set up my tripod and started shooting the room.  Why? Because I had an assignment on interior design shots due the Monday I got back and had bupkis. Above are a couple of the shots.  Yes, I started my Vegas trip with homework, but that's only because I knew that once I left the room, I wasn't getting any more work done for days. I immediately realized that my setup looked like I was about to shoot amateur porn in a Vegas hotel room. How cliché.

Far too long later, I had my shots taken, adjusted, and sitting on my laptop.  But before I left, I snapped a quick iPhone pic of my view.  Actually, before I left I searched the room for the safe. I took a tweet to @AriaLV to finally locate it. Twitter is damned useful.

 

Walking outside I realized that the mountain view might be the better option with Aria. Corner suites probably have a good view, but dead-front strip? You get Polo Towers... not much to look at.

I decided to check out the surroundings. I hadn't really explored CityCenter on my last trip because it wasn't entirely finished yet. I also figured it would be good to know where the hell Jaleo was as I was meeting April, Dawn, Maigrey, Peaker (Dan, Dan, the marathon man), Grange, Absinthetics, and the artist formerly known as TheWife (who would be getting in too late, but made it for the bill) there for dinner in an hour or so. I meandered through and around and outside Crystals before finding my way to The Cosmopolitan, noting the much simpler route I could have taken (and later used all the time).  Jaleo wasn't too hard to find, except for them not really putting the name in an easy-to-see location. With time to kill, I wandered The Cosmo a bit more and decided I rather liked the place. There's something unique in its overall design and layout... it feels new with a touch of rat-packy retro-Vegas. The chandeliers, the decor, the death rays on the way to the buffet...

Anyway, I wandered back to the restaurant to await the group. I plunked myself on a chair and played Angry Birds or something, occasionally looking up. I'd met most of the above people before, but had no clue what Absinthetics or Grange looked like, so I figured one of them would show up first. A few lost souls wandered around and left, and I tweeted my curiosity if one of them were who I was looking for. Then someone who stuck out just a bit started wandering, and checking his phone regularly. I knew I had a blogger in sight.  I casually strolled behind him and glanced at his Twitter stream... why, I knew all those people...

"That looks like a familiar list of followers."

"Hi, I'm [Absinthetics]."

"Astin/[real name]"

And so the group started to form. Dawn tweeted that she was on her way and blaming F-Train for her lateness. April and co were coming straight from the airport and a wee bit delayed due to Budget having a no horns, and no honouring your quote policy or something. Oh, and Dan had made it town on time too! Which we were all very happy about because it sucks to have your flights cancelled.  Read about it on his blog.

I presented myself to the ladies at the restaurant to let them know my party was a bunch of slackers who don't believe in watches or "time" so they were late. No worries I was told, and no worries were had. The group showed up about half an hour late and we were promptly seated.

Drink menus on iPads were delivered, wine was had, and much delicious food was ordered. Chevre on endive, iberico ham, serrano ham, veal cheeks and morels, chicken wings, bacon-wrapped deliciousness, amazing lobster paella, lamb ribs, flans, and so much more. Tapas is amazing for a group like us - food gets passed around by design, more of any dish can be ordered on a whim, and good times are had.

But my personal food highlight was a simple thing. On the drink pad, "Jose's Gin & Tonic" is listed as "the best gin and tonic you've ever had!"  So I had to inquire what I was getting for $17. I mean, I make a solid G&T, and there are really only two ingredients.  I was assured by our very competent waiter that it would surpass all expectations or he'd take it back. I suggested I simply drink it and not pay if it wasn't "the best" but only the second best. He declined this generous offer and I ordered the drink anyway.

Damn, they were right.

"This ice ball is quick-frozen over dry ice with pure water for absolute clarity."

"Umm.. okay. It's ice."

"The gin is from Scotland with hints of cucumb.."

"So it's Hendrick's?"

"Uh... yes, it's Hendrick's."

"And finally our tonic, it's Fever Tree tonic from the UK. You can find this at Whole Foods."

"Never heard of it."

It's all in the tonic boys and girls. DAMN. Not as sweet as the usual stuff, this made for one FINE G&T. Not mentioned were the slice of lime, the zest of lemon, the two juniper berries, or the bay leaf floating in my drink as well.



$17 worth? I dunno. But it's Vegas, so expect higher prices.  Which reminds me I need to go to Whole Foods after work to find that tonic. (please be in Canada, please be in Canada).

Anyhoo, dinner was fantastic, and from there we went to storm the castle.  Well, *I* went to Excalibur, everyone else went to check in or tag along with those who were checking in.

Yah, this is a long one, and it's still day 1, and I haven't reached the Excal yet. Okay, I'll break it up here.

How not to Plan a Trip

"Oh, you're coming for CES?"

It was a refrain that rang out a few times during WPBT when I mentioned I was returning mid-January.  But my answer was "no."

But I can see why there was confusion. I mean, why the hell would ANYONE go to Vegas during the biggest convention week of the year? Geeks and porn stars descending on the city for their annual pilgrimages for awards and toys.

Well, this guy is going because he let a friend plan a trip. A friend who decided a US (but not Canadian) long weekend in January would be an ideal time to go because it would be dead here on the Monday. The whole trip existing solely because he didn't want to keep missing Christmas parties during the usual WPBT jaunt in December.

So now I'm looking at room that normally go for $70/night jacked up to $800. I'm amazed that my tier status went up with M-Life during my latest stay and that it makes no difference. The big "deals" are charging $150/night for Monte Carlo. Hell, even the IP is charging me.

Aria has a decent rate going for a deluxe king, but everyone is of the strict "I don't share with dudes" maxim.  Whatever. Having 5 people makes for an odd room situation anyway.

I can only imagine that restaurant reservations will be just as easy to come by, and that table limits will be kept nice and low.

In short, probably the most expensive possible choice for a weekend. Time to see if there are some strings I can pull.  Shame I can't whine my way to a better deal.

Home

Made it home without incident, and plenty of memories to get down in this space.  Those will come over the next few days.  But first, I want to get some of my pics ready for posting.

The quick summary though? Ate like a Roman, gambled like a rube, when I slept it was the sleep of the dead, had nothing but fun times, and most importantly, had great people to spend them with. A++++ will do business with again.

Counting in Hours

Just over 23 hours until I take off for sin city. Add about 5 hours to that for arrival. I'm getting a wee bit excited.

Not a whole whack to add to yesterday's post.  Plans remain the same, although dining companions at Jaleo have changed a bit, and a couple of you have shown interest in Wicked Spoon brunch buffet (Friday? Saturday pre-tourney? Sunday recovery?)

But I did something last night that I don't think I've ever done before. Pre-packed. Yup, all packed up except for the stuff I still need to use.  At this rate I'll be sitting on my suitcase waiting for my ride hours before it's scheduled to show up.  Man, I wish I had a TARDIS.

See a bunch of you this weekend!

1.5 Sleeps

I've been travelling all my life. With dad working for the airlines, and mom teaching geography, it meant a lot of plane rides. This also meant a lot of packing, a lot of early mornings, and a lot of time spent waiting around the gates to see if we would get on the flight with employee passes, or try again later.

Of course, over the last decade or so, most of my travel has been for myself. Among those trips have been 8 to Las Vegas. Thursday will be #9.

And every single one is tinged with excitement. Also, rushing the night before to get my shit together. US cash, passport, clothes, bounties, toothpaste, etc.. It hasn't always gone smoothly.  Two years back I left my whole bankroll, bounties, passport, and casino cards sitting in my nightstand as I rushed out the door to make my flight. Luckily, I realized it as I was standing on the subway platform across the street from my place and was able to retrieve cash and passport, but the rest stayed behind. Which was fine since I didn't need the bounties anyway that year.

So I expect a full sleep tonight, and maybe half of one tomorrow as I pack, prepare, and procrastinate before waking up at 5:30am to make my 9:30 flight.

I'll make up the rest on the way over, and then deprive myself of sleep for the next 4 days.

I fully expect the usual tune to run through my head as the bright light city draws into view.

Staying at the Aria, hoping to swing a photo-worthy view. Then I'm thinking I need a practice run before Saturday, so I'll probably drop my bags off and then head downstairs for the Aria 1pm tourney.  Same buy-in and structure as the WPBT, and I'm crazy rusty.  I figure it's $125 flushed in the name of warming up the poker instincts. Dinner at Jaleo with good company (still 2 seats up for grabs at 6pm if anyone wants in), and then a castle will be stormed.

Friday has some dead neon in it, more dinner, and then some sort of reckless gambling I'm sure.

Saturday I plan to win a tournament, with Team Bedrock (yours truly, Summers, and BrainMC. Hey, you dyslexically steal our name, we'll straight up abscond with yours) finishing 1-2-3, and then play it by ear from there, although there are rumblings involving arcade games that I suck at...

Sunday - ummm.. wake up? Eat? Find people cheering their sportsball game in a large room? Cheer for insane friends who have decided to run down a street in the middle of a desert? And then go home.

I think the only thing on my "want to do" list that isn't covered in here somewhere is grabbing some breakfast buffet at Wicked Spoon at the Cosmo.  I mean, what's Vegas without at least one breakfast buffet to fuel your whole day? Who's in?

Tightening Up

Same shot as previous post, whole new crop.

Getting There

I have a couple weeks still, but I wanted to get this test shot off quickly and see if this idea would even work. There are definitely things to be improved.

 

I think the hole cards need to be moved over a bit, and I might consider coming down to an even lower angle to the table.  The glare on the chips is bothersome, but might be somewhat unavoidable without drastically changing how I want this lit.  I also think some space needs to be put between the hole cards, the pot, and the board - perhaps both from pushing everything back and coming in closer with a wider angle.  Still, I think the shot can be made to work with a bit of effort.

What do you think?  Chances are good the final product will end up as my bounty for the WPBT.  If I don't get it finished before I leave, then I'll just have to send it to my nemesis. My nemesis of course being whoever dares knock me out. So, if you want a bounty you like, I suggest throwing some criticism my way.

Dovetailing

Like many of the bloggers listed over to the left, what posts I put up of late have had little to do with poker.  This one shall marginally rectify that. Key word: "marginally".

What I have been putting up here are photos. Why? Because that's what takes up a decent chunk of my leisure time these days - you know, where poker used to fit.

Anyway, for one course's final assignment, we have to create a portfolio of work concerning a central theme. The concept can be as broad as we like if I understand correctly, but there needs to be some cohesion between the pictures, shot in our own particular style.

I have chosen "poker night" as my theme.

No, no pictures yet. I just decided on the idea a couple days ago.  For you see, this whole semester has seemed to focus on vice in my work.  Quite unintentionally I assure you. Craps with RPG dice, a beer ad, martini glasses filled with liquids of various colours.  Vice.  The fact that I'll be in Vegas smack dab in the middle of this assignment wasn't lost on me either. But I'm not about to cart studio lighting to Nevada so I can get a shot of a bra on an Aria doorknob with a sultry leg disappearing behind the door. I can do that with a regular flash.

So poker night it is. Having been to and hosted a few in my time, I think I have a handle on the required elements.  Chips, felt, cards, button, drinks, chips, money... but no people, I dislike portraiture. The basics are easy. It's the story that becomes tricky.

Do I just present different angles of the setup? Chips with cards in the foreground, a half-drank beer next to a solitary chip, a stack of $20's behind a larger stack of reds? Do I show the night progressing by dwindling and growing stacks and emptying drinks? Or does a more sinister tale get told? A stack growing larger, a third ace slipping on the table, chairs then overturned with a red smear across the ace of spades and the smoking muzzle of a gun just in the frame?

Or is the gun too much?


However I figure it out, this should be a fun project.  Likely a real pain in the ass lighting-wise, but fun nonetheless

W P B T

Ten days until Vegas touchdown. It feels like longer, but I'm sure it will fly by.

I get in Thursday morning, and am taking the red-eye out Sunday, which should be just enough time to lament not having enough time, but that's the earliest and latest I can do it.

If memory serves, Thursday night should involve storming the castle at The Excalibur, Friday is a trip to the Neon Boneyard and mixed games at the Aria, Saturday is the tournament at noon, and Sunday some insane people are running a 1/2 marathon down the strip, screwing up traffic for those of us who have to head home later.

There's plenty of space in there for other stuff, which will probably be food, drinks, and gambling.

Speaking of - I feel like I should be booking a meal Thursday or Saturday night.  Who's in? I'm thinking something like Sage, or Jaleo... I'd go with é, but I think I'm far too late to the game to get a res.  But then, I'm returning in January, so I'll do it then.

Now to get back to figuring out a team name for last longer... Bam-Bam went and took our choice for Team ABC, although I have no idea why as Astin, Brain MC, and Clareified makes much more sense for that name.

A Triptych in Four Parts

"Your next assignment is a triptych of 3-5 pictures."

Wouldn't that be a triptych, quadtych, or quintych? Whatever.

"It has to tell a story, not necessarily narrative though."

"No problemo boss."

So off I wander to my least favourite renovation in my fair city. The Royal Ontario Museum. The Daniel Libeskind-designed Michael Lee-Chin "Crystal" is a monstrosity that was slammed into a rather nice, if dull, classic museum. I'm not against radical change, I am against ugly radical change. Also, it's nothing like it was originally proposed. It was supposed to be mostly clear glass, which is idiotic for a museum. But then, whoa, that didn't work at all for any number of reasons someone who knows what a building is could point out and it became a mess of aluminum, and an eyesore.  Of course, ol' Daniel then used the same design a few times since. Just look the City Center Mall in Vegas for the ROM's twin.  /rant

Still, it makes for interesting photos. Also, from the right angle it resembles the Jawa transport crawler from Star Wars. Hence the occasionally light sabre battles that take place in front.

The idea behind the series is to show the transition from what was to what is.


The largely unadulterated Queen's Park side.


Coming around the corner onto Bloor, we see how elegantly the metal iceberg crashed into the nice old museum.


Yup, same building as the first one. You should see the all-white interior that is largely unusable for display space due to the angled walls.


Oops! Someone left some of the old building sticking out over here.

I've actually gotten somewhat used to this building now.  But I still don't like it. Even more so after it was re-made elsewhere, so it's not even uniquely ugly.

What's That Called Again?

The other day I ordered up a bunch of lighting gear from Paul C. Buff - aka, the AlienBees company. (Which might register as recognizable to maybe 3 of you).  Among that gear were a couple umbrellas and covers that turn them into giant softboxes. But one of those covers was the wrong size.

So I e-mailed the company and let them know that they had mistakenly sent me an 86" cover instead of a 64" one.  Shortly after their business opened for the day I received a reply essentially saying, "Sorry we messed up. The right one's on the way. Don't worry about returning the other one."

I'm confused by this. An incredibly prompt response correcting the situation perfectly in a polite and straightforward manner? What's that called? Custard serving? Costumer justice? Oh wait... customer service! It's nice to see that the rumours of them being easy to work with are true.

It takes some sting out of the fact that I didn't think through why a real softbox would be helpful for my current shoot, which kind of screwed up my plans last night. But that's also on the way to being fixed via good ol' spending more money on stuff.

Learning

"You guys are going to pull your hair out and hate this next one."

So said the teacher about our current assignment - photograph something transparent or reflective.  I immediately had my idea, and spent about 5 minutes looking at examples of how to shoot glass to get an idea of how to work this. What I read confirmed my initial instinct to the setup - lots of soft light, not much space.

So I picked up a roll of white paper and some clamps. Dropped some food colouring into jars of water, and packed it all up with a whack of other equipment and martini glasses and went to class.

About 1/4 of the way there, I decided without doubt that I was ordering my own damned lighting setup.

For week one, I'm happy with the results. But there was a pesky refraction of the back corners of my setup in the glasses.  That explains the black in nearly every shot.. Sadly, my setup was such that I'd need a step ladder and more time than was available to fix the problem. Luckily, I have a second week to reshoot, with my own equipment this time, which I fear might have a major shortcoming for this project.  But then, that's what fast shipping or local camera stores are for.

I can't necessarily say that the class itself taught me anything, but it kicked my ass into learning on my own and actually shooting something different to me. And hey, having the teacher wander the class, see your area, declare it "the genius corner", and say you seem to know what you're doing is always good, right?

Here are a couple examples. The full set can be found over here. I'll be adding to it as I go.




 









I like this last one so much, it's now my phone background.

Classwork

Class continues on. More assignments asked for, more completed.

First up: Take an architectural elevation.

What's that?

Oh, well, it's this thing where you take a picture of a building flat on and make it as dull as possible.

Ah, like this?



Not boring enough, but pretty good. Sky is wrong.

Well, I think it's better than the blown-out white it was before. But yah, the blending is amateur hour.


Next up: Make me an ad! You have 1.8 seconds to sell me something!

Okay, how about beer?



Ew, they make pumpkin beer?

It worked! I rule the school!


Finally: Take some urban street photography.

What's that?

Oh, well, it's this thing where you take a picture that is structured and is from the street. Here are some disparate examples with no obvious commonalities.

Uh... thanks. I'm not sure about any of my pictures because I'm not clear on what you want, but this one kind of reminds me of one of the examples, only much more modern and colourful.



That's exactly what I'm looking for! Here's some small nebulous critique about composition that could maybe still be okay.

Really? That's it? Sweet. Maybe I can trip into a pot of gold cushioned by lingerie models next...

Huh? No picture.... damn.

More Picture Time

A couple more. First, the final choice in my craps w/ RPG dice thing:



Not perfect. Shadows for the dice are too far from a visual standpoint, even if they are where they're supposed to be.  Also, the comment was made that the dice look like they're suspended on the chipstack. There are some minor compositional changes I could make there, but overall I'm happy.

Next up, a shot from Nuit Blanche. I have a few of these to work through, which means they'll probably never get done. Especially since I have a Zombie Walk to get shots of this weekend. Maybe. If I wake up in time and care.

What I'm Working On

One of the photography classes this semester is all about studio flash. Assignment #1 is still life.  I figured fruit in a bowl is boring, so I'd go with something closer to my heart.  Bear in mind that this is still a work in progress, but I think I'm figuring out where to go.

Hi Mr. Jobs

The other day I wrote this line: "Think Apple if Steve Jobs died."

The next day, Steve Jobs resigned as Apple's CEO. Obviously spooked by my inadvertent prognostication, he felt he should get his house in order.

Lesson? Steve Jobs obviously reads here. I don't blame him. After all, I know what sucks in technology. Here's hoping Tim Cook finds Steve's blog bookmarks and continues to heed my sage advice about things.

For instance - know what's cool? Bubble domes around the seats and REALLY big cup holders. Also, tailfins. iPhone 6 should totally have tailfins and a really big cup holder.

Vote Happy Crow!

Filmchaw, top characters of the 90's, round whatever. Go vote already!

Oh, but vote for Eric Draven and Happy Gilmore, the rest of those guys all suck.

Bye Jack

Canada has had 3 major federal parties for decades now. The youngest of those is the NDP. Little more than a fringe party for most of my life (amassing 5-10% of the seats), its fortunes turned around in our last federal election.

Starting out as a big farm-supporting party, it became synonymous with union support, exorbitant spending, and general leftist policies. I supported many of their beliefs (green before green was a thing, support for the needy, and generally being decent human beings), but not their economics. Plus, their leaders were often about as endearing as a soggy piece of toast.

Then Jack Layton came along. Still an NDP idealist, he seemed to recognize that they had to play ball with politics at some level if they wanted to be more than a disproportionately loud voice in the House of Commons. He got the NDP fundraising to a level its never seen, he dragged the party to a more centrist and populist point. He took his used-car salesman look and became an endearing man of the people.

I voted for him. My justification was that I couldn't get behind the other two serious options available - a right-wing party that wasn't the progressive conservatives I had grown up with, and a centrist party that had managed to do nothing of substance over my lifetime. The NDP was never going to win, but I liked them as a conscience vote. They could have swing power in the minority governments we'd been seeing. Their policies would have to be enacted to some degree, filtered through a more economically conservative sieve. They kept the other parties more honest.

Then something unexpected happened last time. They started winning seats. Lots of seats. Way more than they'd ever seen. The supporters of the do-nothing Liberals were sick of their smarmy leader and lack of achievement, and those of the Bloc Quebecois were heading to the NDP in droves. The NDP pulled in over 100 seats, when they'd seldom seen 20 in the past. They were the official opposition to an (unfortunate) Conservative majority, behind by only 63 seats, and 9% of the vote. They had a larger voice than ever, but very little power. Regardless, it was a watershed event in Canadian politics, and there was no doubt in anybody's mind that it was all due to Jack. His "nice smile", friendly demeanour, and promises of holding our Prime Minister accountable for his actions brought the whole party's standing upwards. Candidates who were nothing more than placeholders found themselves elected despite not running any sort of real campaign. The "orange wave" swept across the country and sent a message that people wanted a change. I actually found it a little scary, and recall fearing that they could actually WIN the election while I watched the votes come in. The party had never seen these heights. And it was all thanks to their leader.

This morning he died.

Three and a half months after his party swept to their greatest victory ever, he lost his battle with cancer and passed away at home with his family by his side. A sad day in Canadian politics to be sure.

His legacy will live on. His wife Olivia Chow is also a Member of Parliament for the NDP. His son Mike is a Toronto City Councillor. But neither has the charisma of Jack.

With Jack's death the fate of the NDP is very much up in the air. Think Apple if Steve Jobs died. The party will obviously continue on, and will maintain its position as the official opposition until the next election. But without the cult of personality that surrounds its departed leader, their chances of maintaining their momentum are in doubt. If they maintain a loud, unified voice over the next 4 years, and prove they have Canada's interests ahead of their own, then they might be able to continue being a force. But if they falter, if they return to their socialist roots (and they have been unabashedly so in the past), if they once again give the idea that they'd rather tax and spend then bring realistic economics to bear, then they'll find themselves back on the fringe.

But for now, they have a voice. Here's hoping they won't waste what their leader gave them.

One more thing. At this year's Toronto Pride Parade, there was no cheer louder than the one that went up when the NDP's orange float went by. The Conservatives were nowhere to be seen, the Liberals had all the oomph that would be expected of a defeated giant and felt like little more than vague political grandstanding, but the NDP float was pumped - flags, cheers, jumping, dancing, and smiles all around. Led by this guy:



Bye Jack.

Somehow Busy

Right, it's summer. So that means there's always something going on 'round these parts. Toronto can get downright dreary during the winter, so it squeezes as much as it can into the summer. Not that I've been partaking in too many of the city's offerings either.

Bloggers dropping in for international birthdays, my local friends having the gall to have their own birthdays on top of that, and endless stream of movies to see, farmers markets providing an every-cycling range of fresh produce that has to be turned into meals, Jays games, poker games, days too nice to waste inside, and just the day-to-day stuff that takes up time... when I have nothing to do, it comes as a relief.

Except "nothing" translates to either doing some photo editing or playing my way through am ever-increasing backlog of video games (damn you and your sales Steam!). Both of which fall under the category of "leisure" and relaxing.

So, some pics... then maybe I'll get to finishing my writeup on Happy Gilmore for Filmchaw's continuing (and drawn-out) 90's character challenge... yah, I'm the guy holding up this round. Sorry.

I was at my first Jays game of the season on Sunday. Robbie Alomar Hall of Fame day. First Jay in the Hall as a Jay (others not as a Jay include Dave Winfield, Paul Molitor, Rickey Henderson, and Phil Niekro - all of whom have obviously stronger affiliations with other teams). Great crowd, and has me missing the glory days.

I opted to not bring my SLR this time, as I knew the place would be sold out and I'd worry about the camera too much. So the iPhone came into play.





I'm not a huge fan of the camera by itself on the phone due to how noisy it is, but it's easily replaced my point and shoot for the "better to have any photo than no photo" moments.

But I need to get out for a real shoot again soon, because apparently I feel the need to increase my backlog of photos I'd really like to finish off an post. The other question is, "where?" I'll keep my Flickr account, but I'm thinking maybe 500px might be worth a look for my favourite pics. Flickr is just falling behind on features, layout, and monetization.

Alright, enough rambling.

Kaboom! (Photos)

We're a week and a bit away from Canada Day, and a week away from some other minor holiday in some other minor country.

But hey, fireworks are fun any time. Except at 4am after you've FINALLY fallen asleep and staring a killer hangover in the face whenever you wake up. Then, they're REALLY fun.

Happy July 11th!

Dawn Pointed Out...

That it has been many days since I put up photos. I haven't sat down to process much recently (oh, my recently married friends will be upset soon), so here's a few more from earlier. As always, click to embiggen.

From one of my classes. Monochrome HDR of a clock, hence the circular motion blur looking the way it does.


From a trip to Haida Gwaii (Queen Charlotte Islands in BC) a few years back. I liked the photo as it was, but liked it even more flipped upside down. That would be the ocean on top, and sky below.

Vote Bag o' Bones

Round 1, heat 2 is now up over the 'chaw. Once again, I have but one entry in this heat, but it's a doozy - Jack Skellington

Below is Riggs' defense of his "character", followed by mine.

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Colonel Nathan R. Jessup, A Few Good Men

You have that luxury… you have the luxury of not knowing what I know. That Santiagos death, while tragic probably SAVED LIVES. And my existence, which is grotesque, and incomprehensible to you, SAVES LIVES. Deep down in places you don’t talk about at parties, you WANT me on that wall… you NEED me on that wall. We use words like honor, code, loyalty. We use these words as the backbone of a lifetime spent defending something. You use them as a punch line. I have neither the time, nor the inclination to explain myself to a person who rises and sleeps under the very blanket of freedom which I provide, and then QUESTIONS the manner in which I provide it. I would rather you just say Thank You, and went on your way. Otherwise, I suggest you pick up a weapon and stand a post. EITHER WAY, I don’t give a GODDAMN… WHAT YOU THINK YOU ARE ENTITLED TO!

I didn’t even recount the most famous of lines, or most commercial I should say, which is of course, YOU CAN’T HANDLE THE TRUTH! Nor did I recount the funniest… “Tom, get me the president, we’re surrendering our position here in Cuba”… Or how about,” What I want is for you to stand there in your faggety white uniform, and with your Harvard mouth, extend me some fucking courtesy”.

No, don’t really need to. The beauty of this character, so eloquently portrayed by one the most talented and revered actors of our time, is how he convinces the viewer of how terrifying a man he really is, and at the same time how necessary he is. Not because he is inhuman, but because it is his JOB. His total disregard for one human life, or several, in order to do his job, which is to save thousand as he sees it, is evident in his stance as a Marine. The fact is, men like this (ok, women too you liberal feminist fags), NEED to exist. Jack shows why and more importantly HOW, with his portrayal of Colonel Nathan R Jessup. (insert cheap shot at competing writer) Leave it up to a Canadian to not understand that. After all, what do they ever need to defend. A country? BLAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA…..

OK, kidding about the Canadian thing… I think… As a movie character, aside from the fantastic acting, the writers make this character. Jack is nothing more than a talented vessel. The writers really try to show the horror of this maniacal, egotistical narcissist who in the end makes you believe that his existence, although grotesque, and incomprehensible to you, really does need to exist. See a sane person knows that it is necessary. A liberal, humanist can keep their head in the sand until another tower falls I guess.

-Riggstad


Jack Skellington, The Nightmare Before Christmas

Jack Skellington from The Nightmare Before Christmas vs Jack Nicholson. Yah, I know it says "Col. Nathan R. Jessup", but let's be honest here - did ANY of you remember that was his name? No. He's "Jack Nicholson in A Few Good Men." A middling movie remembered for ONE line. The character isn't memorable, the scenery chewing from one of the greatest actors of the 20th century is. But we aren't here to debate actors or their best quotes. No, we're here to find the best CHARACTERS.

But MY Jack? Why he's ALL character. Do you know who does his voice? Nope. Sure, you can look it up, but that's not necessary, because you remember Jack Skellington, not Chris Sarandon and Danny Elfman. Yah, that's right - TWO people were needed to bring this walking, singing, dancing saviour of Halloweentown to life. Skellington is a case study in character growth. Starting out as the toast of the town, putting on the best Halloweens every year, we see that this soul is lost. Having feared that he can't top himself, he wanders and discovers a world he just can't comprehend. His good intentions lead to the Christmas from hell, and through this journey he discovers not only the old "meaning of Christmas", but himself. This leads to him bringing righteous retribution down on the villains of his town, while begging for forgiveness for those he was wronged. Find me one other character from the 90's that can be as joyful, lovable, misguided and terrifying as Jack Skellington. He GROWS, he IS the movie. He doesn't just show up for a cup of coffee and a good yell at some pretty-boy Scientologist, he elevates what could have been just another holiday special to a classic.

Here's a test. Jessup's famous line: "You can't handle the truth!" Now please, recite ANYTHING else he says in that speech.

A line from Jack: "There are children throwing snowballs, instead of throwing heads. They're busy building toys, and absolutely no one's dead!" You're welcome for the earworm.

Sometimes the truth hurts, but I'm sure you can handle it. Jessup doesn't qualify for this tournament since you don't recognize his name without the picture. 19 years after A Few Good Men, Jessup is good for a single line in Nicholson retrospectives. 18 years after Nightmare, Jack Skellington is still gaining fans, being seen in theatres in 3D, and causing people to hum songs about their confusion about snow. Truly great characters endure through time and become legends. Mediocre ones only survive through their best line.

- Astin


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Remember to go over to Filmchaw to vote. NOW. Vote Skellington!

Photos of the Day

Like I post these things daily. Hah! Just a couple shots from some recent park wanderings nearby. We'll return you to your regularly scheduled 90's movie characters shortly.

Best of the 90's - Round 1a

AKA Mia Wallace Division, Day 1. AKA I only have one horse in today's race.

That horse? An actor's actor playing an actor's actor - John Malkovich from Being John Malkovich.

He's facing some bull-headed religious nut who studied Philosophy 101 from a decrepit old book he found in a Zion basement - Morpheus. But enough about a dude with a fixation on 90's Elton John songs.

Granted, my opponent, one HDouble, wrote an eloquent and tl;dr defense of the self-styled prophet, peppered with quotes that themselves are too long to recall (seriously, who remembers anything more than something about taking a pill based on colour?). But quotes taken from the Moleskine of some high-as-a-kite teenager do not a great character make. To the battle!

Vote over at Filmchaw. You'll also find the whole round 1a over there, where below is only my battle for this round.

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Morpheus, The Matrix
It's rare to find a movie character who can believably pull off so many dimensions simultaneously.

Prophet, Mentor, Keeper of the Faith, Martial Arts expert, Hero.

As I was trying to figure out how best to show why Morpheus is a "better" character than John Malkovich, I ended up with a few approaches that all failed to capture the greatness of . So let's go straight to the source and break down my favorite quotes from one of my favorite movie characters of all time.

Morpheus: The Matrix is a system, Neo. That system is our enemy. But when you're inside, you look around, what do you see? Businessmen, teachers, lawyers, carpenters. The very minds of the people we are trying to save. But until we do, these people are still a part of that system and that makes them our enemy. You have to understand, most of these people are not ready to be unplugged. And many of them are so inured, so hopelessly dependent on the system, that they will fight to protect it.

Morpheus's first lesson to his pupil is delivered with calm intensity, and explains in simple terms the way in which the "unexamined life" and materialism can imprison us. It's something an expert painter might say to an aspiring painter who has shown early promise. The speech also illustrates the painful reality of being a caring human being: we fight to save our enemies and open their eyes to a way of living outside the system.

Morpheus: I know *exactly* what you mean. Let me tell you why you're here. You're here because you know something. What you know you can't explain, but you feel it. You've felt it your entire life, that there's something wrong with the world. You don't know what it is, but it's there, like a splinter in your mind, driving you mad. It is this feeling that has brought you to me. Do you know what I'm talking about?

The teacher continues his lecture, using a powerful simile to make his point. The "splinter" he refers to reminds us of those moments when we aspire for a more fulfilling life and a better world. In a world filled with depressing headlines, cynicism and sarcasm fill our mind with storm clouds that threaten apathy. With this speech, Morpheus offers us a ray of idealism that pierces the dark clouds.

Morpheus: Free your mind.
[Morpheus jumps from one building to another a long distance away]
Neo: Whoa

Like all great teachers, Morpheus first explains a concept, and then illustrates the concept by doing it himself. Just as Yoda lifts his pupil's ship from the swamp when Luke sees only the impossible, Morpheus forces his pupil to see beyond the limitations created by his mind. Sitting in the theater as a 22 year old, I remember sharing Neo's amazement at the sight of Morpheus's leap of faith.

How many Malkovich quotes do you remember? Do you remember his voice? Do you remember what he was wearing? Take the red pill.

-HDouble


John Malkovitch, Being John Malkovitch
Some characters are incredibly one-dimensional. Others have some pathetic other side that is intended to add depth. Nowadays it seems everything is going 3D. But Malkovich? He's multidimensional, he's got dimensions you can't even imagine. Accessible through a small door on the 7 1/2 floor, you too can be this broad-based auteur. Thespian, tortured soul, puppeteer and puppet both, a man controlled by the whim of petty man-gods, with direct access to the side of the New Jersey Turnpike, Malkovich fights an ultimately fruitless battle against forces he can barely understand. Man vs Army of Senior Citizens inside his own mind isn't frequently visited territory for most actors, but John Malkovich lives it in a means beyond the deepest method actors. Rare is it that one can face oneself, let alone oneself lying on a piano reciting oneself's name. Morpheus nearly broke under the "duress" of being asked some questions by an Australian with an hearing aid. John Malkovich rebelled against a man almost literally pulling his strings. Also, he's best friends with Charlie Sheen. Morpheus is best friends with some dork hacker who refuses to accept the reality of spoons.

- Astin

BBQ Sauce

Yellow onion - chopped and sweated in oil and butter
3 cloves garlic - minced and tossed in onions for 2 min
Ketchup
Brown sugar
Worcestershire sauce
Cider vinegar
White vinegar
Smokey BBQ vinegar
Juice of 1/2 a lemon
Garlic powder
Onion powder
Orange peel powder
Nutmeg
Smoked paprika
Roasted garlic salt
Hickory smoked salt
Alderwood smoked salt
Habanero salt
Ghost pepper salt
Black pepper
Ground ghost pepper
Habanero powder
Cayenne powder
Chipotle powder
Ancho chili powder
Chipotle Tabasco
Liquid smoke
Penzeys Northwoods Fire seasoning
Dried jalapeno flakes
Susie's teardrops
Susie's original hot sauce
Smoked chipotle hot sauce
Soy sauce
High fat cocoa powder
Apricot Wheat beer
Jack Daniels

I think that's it...

Stir and boil... blend with immersion blender (if it's metal. Plastic blenders will have to wait until cool). Simmer to reduce.

Sweet, spicy, BBQ sauce. I could probably remove half those ingredients without noticing a difference... or maybe not. It mellows substantially when cooked on chicken. I now have a large squeezable ketchup bottle full of the stuff. Better find me some ribs.

WSOP

Hoyazo asked the question that's likely been on many minds since a couple weeks ago. What are the WSOP numbers going to look like?

I think his 3000 number is on the low side for the main event. I'd see in the 4000-5000 range as likely, but with nothing to actually back that up other than gut feelings.

What is really going to suffer is the other 49,000 (give or take 3 orders of magnitude) events. All those $2000 packages and events that the low-limit grinders can work towards. Sure, the broke-dick donkey events will still see plenty of walk-up business, but non-NLHE events will see their numbers drop even more I'd think. Percentage-wise of course.

After all, they online sites will still be running tournaments for WSOP packages, there just won't be as many, and the winners will all be from from outside US borders. I might even look at taking a few longshots, since the fields should be considerably smaller.

I fully expect to see Harrah's running all kinds of cheap satellites at all of their casinos. They'll have to do whatever they can to keep the numbers from being embarrassing. Backers are going to back off, and pros are going to have to budget a bit better. Those who truly play this game as a job will have already adjusted their bankrolls and accounting to compensate for the lack of online play (if US-based, then it's huge, if outside the Dead Zone, than for the lack of US donkeys). Some will focus on smaller fields, avoiding the $10k coin flip altogether. But the allure of that honey (even 3000 runners = $30,000,000 up for grabs) will still draw flies.

So, with properties scattered around the country, and even sneaking north of the border, Harrah's should be running satellites, super-satellites, and promoting the hell out of them. If they were really smart, they'd try and convince a few smaller casinos to run some too. You telling me Trump wouldn't LOVE to have the chance to say one of his properties is "Home to the 2011 WSOP Champion"?

My only question is... who will be around to cover the Series?

90's Characters Kick-Off

If you haven't already, go read Goat's intro over at Filmchaw for the Greatest Movie Characters of the 90's. I'll wait.

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Oh, sorry, I went to grab a sandwich, and then there was this thing on TV that reminded me to check out a site someone e-mailed me earlier... guess I didn't really wait. Anyway, we're both back now.

This is going to be fun. I'm not sure even the four of us writing this thing are sure how it's going to play out. Can our mastery of language sway our readers from the obvious choices? Did a late-position, "I can't believe they're still available" choice create insane first-round matchups? Are we missing obvious choices? Probably.

I think Goat's got some details on the drafting rules and such coming, so I'll spare duplication here. But one complaint I've seen in a couple places is the lack of women on the list.

64 characters, 10 years, 4 women.

I had a few on my short list, but with only 16 choices, I had to make decisions based on character strength. Looking back, perhaps not having Trinity in there is a mistake, but is she a better choice than Smith? In hindsight... probably. Oops.

We did have a limitation on picks from a movie - each of us could only take one character from any given movie. So once I picked someone from, say, Pulp Fiction, it fell to someone else to pick another character. Mia Wallace was on my list, but Jules is obviously a stronger character.

Lola from Run Lola Run? Thought about it, but she's not really as strong as just about everyone else. Darla from Dazed and Confused was there, but I couldn't figure an argument to put her above, say, Darth Maul (you'll see where I'm going with that one soon enough). I thought about Leelo instead of Zorg, but dammit, the more I thought about it, the more I liked Zorg as a character. "You found me beautiful once" just doesn't match up to "Honey, you got reeeeeal ugly."

But hey, at least we didn't create a ladies' tournament. The 4 that made this list are more than capable of holding their own against their male opponents. I mean, we already know how Sarah Connor vs The Terminator turns out... and she was a big-haired party girl when they first faced off. T2 Sarah would turn the first movie into a 15 minute short.

Let's do this.

The View Of Canada's Shorts

There was, to put it in the most understated way possible, an interesting development in the poker world on Friday. Online poker in the United States, for all intents and purposes, was shut down. I doubt anybody reading here needs the details, but here's a summary for the 3 people who MIGHT not actually follow both poker and this blog.

Bank fraud, money laundering, and illegal gambling operations - three charges brought against 11 individuals, including the founders of Full Tilt and Poker Stars. The .com domain names of Tilt, Stars, and Absolute/UB seized by the FBI and DOJ. These sites quickly blocking all US players from playing real money games to try and cover their asses - too little, too late.

Here in Canada? Annoying pop-up warnings and e-mails from the site to tell us that US players are screwed but we're fine, and to download the software from the .co.uk sites if we're having problems updating.

AA can still get cracked by JQo AIPF on the first hand of a SnG too. So that hasn't changed.

I, unlike seemingly 90% of the poker players out there, am not a lawyer. These days, I'm barely a blogger. But still, I've already surpassed the 140 character limit of Twitter.

In short - this sucks. You already know this. For most of my friends in the poker world, this is a minor inconvenience. Their hobby has been relegated to casinos, card rooms, and home games. For some though, this is a blow to their livelihood. A handful write for, or even run, major poker news sites and blogs. Some are employed directly by the sites that are facing these legal challenges. I send good vibes and best wishes your way, as it's about all I can really do.

For the sites themselves? I feel little pity. If these charges are true, they blatantly broke the law, and did just about the stupidest thing they could have if they had any hopes of legally running their operations in the States.

As has been stated by people closer to this than me - the online poker rooms aren't the issue here. The fraud and laundering are, and they're HUGE. The PPA's statement the other day was so full of stupid it hurt my brain - this has nothing to do with the validity of online poker, but the ways these sites circumvented the law to get their money. Tilt and Stars are doing the right thing by stating their disappointment and otherwise keeping their traps shut.

Does anyone else recall during the Netteller debacle that one of the major concerns of the anti-online-gambling proponents was that they had no control over where the money flowed? Money laundering, fraud, and terrorism were all invoked as the specters faced by those who supported these sites. Well guess what? You've proven them right on two of those counts. You've added fuel to the righteous fire of those paid by the horse racing and anti-gambling lobbies. You've made it much harder for poker to get the status it deserves as a skill game. You're Capone being taken down for tax evasion.

But it will still happen. It just won't be via Tilt or Stars or UB. MGM Poker, WSOP Online, WynnPoker - these will be the clients you'll have available to install. Possibly powered by Zynga. Why? Because these are big US corporations that will say "Look at what we already do! We run casinos across the country and are good corporate citizens and provide American jobs that can't be moved offshore, and you already have all our tax numbers." The government will take it's sweet time deliberating and finessing and wringing of hands about the poor addicts who will gamble away their children's tuition and the milk money, but eventually, in a couple years or so, will allow these good American companies to set up shop online. Maybe with their new identity ecosystem. One ID, multiple sites. Maybe Party comes back a bit after that, with the argument that they obeyed the laws and are publicly traded in a trustworthy country like Great Britain.

If we see anything faster than in 2 years from the casinos? It will raise my suspicion that the casinos had a hand in this. They might not be run by the mob anymore, but that doesn't make the casino business any less dangerous to deal with. The stakes are just much higher.

And maybe, a decade or so down the road, some descendant of Tilt or Stars shows up in Canada's pants again. Humbled, chagrined, and under a heavy yoke of regulation and watchdoggery.

Poker is legal in the States. They'll find a way to put it online legally. More importantly, the government will find a way to make money off it.

In the meantime, there will be lots of satellite stories to follow over the coming months - pros, affiliates, the World Series, and plenty of fear and drama.

Fight Like A Girl

I figure instead of just jabbering about photography, I'll throw some pics up here. Maybe this will become a photo blog. Probably not. But at least there'll be some stuff to see more often.

The Pillow Fight League has been running in Toronto for 5 years. Last month they held their last show of the season, taking the summer off and possibly returning come fall. I saw them near the beginning, and stumbled across a lamp-post ad for their last show the day it was happening. Naturally, I had to attend.

Here, the seemingly loves-all-comers Kitten Kaboodle has the resident zombie, Eva Dead, in well... some kind of modified camel clutch with pillows (after all, all moves must use the pillow at the point of contact)



Then there was the aftermath of the title bout, where Dinah Mite went down in flames to Apocalipstick in a brutal match that could have gone either way. The fighters all gathered to say farewell, but Dinah seemed both dejected and exhausted after her bout. Will the league return so that Lipstick can defend her title? Only time will reveal the answer.

Combinatorics

I don't know about you, but when actually start to study a topic I already know something about, I often see the baby flying out in a large splash of bathwater before I pull it back in. Or less terribly-worded, I jump into the new ideas, ignoring what I already know, but eventually find the right combination of new and old experience.

Politics - what's the old saying? You're a democrat until the government takes your money, and then you go republican. I'd like to think that as we become more exposed to life, the intelligent among us start to see the subtleties and realities that we missed in our younger rose-coloured days. We find what we're passionate about, or what makes sense to us, and follow that path. Some eschew all materialism and build a cabin the woods to live off the land while giving all their possessions to an orphanage. Others become birthers who move to a cabin in the woods afraid the gubmint is gonna take their teeth. Most find a happy medium where they develop an opinion about stuff and continue on with their daily lives, adjusting as needed.

Poker? Read Harrington, or Negreanu, go through a thread on a forum about small ball, and our game changes overnight. Suddenly we're playing crap for small bets or checking M constantly to determine if our JTo is push-worthy. Inevitably, sticking "to the book" results in being very easy to read and control. Good players adapt and find some combination of lessons that fits their situation. Changing gears and all that.

We read about someone who took their own path and found a life model that made them rich and successful. Suddenly, what they did is what we're going to do, with no consideration for the differences in our situations. You can't invent a second pet rock and expect it to sell as well as the first.

No, eventually the excitement of our "discovery" of new methodologies wanes, and our old practices start to reassert themselves. These former rivals often find a means of melding into a new outlook that often works better, for us, than either did by themselves.

I'm slowly coming to that stage in photography. I find I'm swinging wildly between old habits and new lessons. I long ago started filtering the information being fed to me through a screen of care/don't care, but now I'm starting to see what's left behind.

We covered portraits a few weeks back, something I've never really done. I learned something - I hate portraits. I can't help but think that a couple pieces of advice from the teacher might have changed that mindset a bit. Even so, posing someone, checking lighting while the subject is in flux, and trying to make a living, breathing, feeling person look good is a collection of things I don't like. If you take a bad picture of a landscape, the landscape isn't going to care, and it will still be where you left it. The whole class was me trying to apply the various points of instruction from the previous week. I was a bit stressed, and fairly unhappy by the end. I looked at the hundreds of shots I took during that session, and was glad I only had to find 5-10, since I dislike most of them. I had applied none of the things I've learned in the past, and my shots look like those of a raw newbie. I'll see what I can fix in post.

But then we did black and white photography - another area I have zero experience in. This time, I had much more fun. I can look back and see various reasons - subjects that don't move or care what their picture looks like, more real-time advice from the instructor, and a bit more comfort in the studio after the portraiture session. But I think the key change was me tossing aside some of the opinions that had been pressed on us and going with what I knew. My tripod was out early and my camera stayed on it. My Promote Control was attached and I was bracketing shots for HDR use later. I switched between prime and zoom lenses as needed (although I pretty much stuck with my macro by the end). I went back into a comfort zone I've known for years and found the right amount of new education to bring in. Looking through the, again, hundreds of images from that session, I loved most of them. I'm in the process of whittling down the count to a displayable number, some HDR, some not.

I think my favourite part of that session was when the teacher was talking to my group towards the end. I had my camera 6ft in the air on the tripod, control in my hand, and I fired off 9 bracketed shots. The "what the hell is he doing?" look crossed the teacher's face, which one of my partners graciously responded to with "HDR" in a tone that said, "he's been doing this all class." El instructo thought for a second, said, "Black and white HDR?" thought some more, and then said "That could be really interesting."

Considering HDR is all about light and texture, the same areas that B&W focuses on, I had thought the same thing.

Favourite shot from the session so far:

Why You're Failing

It isn't, as you say, because there's so much competition in the business. Or because everyone has the basic technology at home and don't want pros to do it. Hell, it might not even because you're an arrogant douchebag.

Actually, that last one is probably why.

Here's the thing. You started the class by telling the teacher, who has decades of experience and seems to make a pretty good living doing his thing, that you had all the latest brand-name gear because your clients always asked what brands you used. He replied that he's never been asked that, and uses supplies from hardware and dollar stores.

You told him your camera didn't have a very basic setting that every camera has. He told you that you had to be wrong. You disagreed. You were.

We were told to bring in at MOST 50 pictures to the assignment review. Most people brought 25-50. You brought 300, claiming you read every line of the assignments and took a "scientific approach" to them. You obviously missed the lines that told you how many shots to bring in. You also failed to apply the science of "gee, will anybody in the class dedicate the time to look at 300 pictures? How could I possibly display that many?". Everybody tuned out when you tried to show stuff, most of us laughed about it.

The class has preached simplicity in lighting. Direct quotes from the guy you said "it is an honour to learn from" - "You don't need more than 1, maybe 2 lights and reflectors." "Learn how to use one light before using two." "The biggest mistake I see in lighting is people pulling out more and more lights to control shadows instead of using only a couple properly". So what do you do on the lighting class? Pull out 5 lights, 2 reflectors, and 4 partitions to light your model. Why? Because you know what you're doing of course. The fact most of the class lined up to take pictures of your model had little to do with your lighting skill and more to do with your model and the fact most of the class are sheep. Some of us didn't climb your stepladder to get the shot, and the person grading you sat against the wall chatting with those who weren't dazzled by your bullshit.

When asked why you're taking the class, you replied "so I can get my degree, because I've been doing commercial photography for years now but can't get some jobs without paper to back it up." I'm pretty sure the teacher rolled his eyes.

There's more, but my brain hurts every time you speak.

No, your business is getting tougher not because of outside factors, but because you're too fucking arrogant to figure out what an unpleasant moron you are. It's hard because you've spent your money on time on things you don't need and for advice you don't take. You give off an aura of "who the fuck is this asshole?" the minute you open your trap. Eventually you'll be holding hand puppets at the Sears portrait studio and blaming the Internet for your lot in life... while people who stopped looking for excuses and started fixing their own issues will still be doing what they love, and getting paid by your former clients.

On Post-Processing

Years ago I bought my first digital camera. A Pentax Optio 555 point-and-shoot. I loved that little beast. It went to Key West, Banff, and Israel with me along with anywhere else I went. At the time, I was newly transitioned from using film cameras, and didn't do anything in the way of post-processing. I like the pictures well enough, but looking back years later, I've realized what an important part of the process a little editing is.

Case in point, a shot from my trip to Banff in 2006:



An odd white balance, too much boring sky, lots of white, and what I saw vs what I shot are worlds apart.

The other day I started with picture #1 in my Lightroom catalogue and started working forwards. This may have been the most striking change so far:



And the changes weren't major - the white balance was corrected to give a colder tone, the contast increased, noise reduced, and most importantly, the image was cropped to focus on what I was attempting to make the subject in the first place - the line of the fence. Being a slave to the 2x3 aspect ratio that most cameras have (so you can get nice tidy 4x6 photos) results in so much wasted space.

Too much contrast? Too sharp? Too blue? Maybe, but those things are easily changed and tweaked.



When I stopped being afraid of changing what came out of my camera, and when I finally learned how to use something other than Photoshop for adjustments, I started feeling a lot better about the pictures I produce.

Poker? Here?

Another month goes by, so I should post again. Plus, I've somehow managed a few links from other blogs today it seems. Best to use that traffic, right?

There's always plenty rattling around this head o' mine, but I obviously have been sending it out in snippets on Twitter more than the long-form this area is better suited for.

So let's talk Poker. After all, this is, nominally at least, a poker blog.

(I feel I should link the word Poker to some site... how about this one)?

I played in the Mookank (Dankie? Daokankie?) last night, I believe my first appearance since this Donkey Island Survivor Poker thing started. Not that I'm part of either team or in any way involved (unless I am Julius Goat, in which case I'm chin deep in it). But hey, more people playing! More fun! And also, I kind of miss poker, even though I've sucked HARD at it the few times I've played the past few months.

So I signed up and kicked ass. Right up until Bam Bam left the rail and I got my 3rd pocket rockets - except this time they didn't hold up and went down in flames to a rivered set of Jacks. Out 14th. But before that, I was bluffing, and trapping, and catching, and playing like a jerk and winning, and all that fun stuff I do so love about the game. Still, I have informed the Bammer that he has been exiled from the province of Ontario (he can still visit) and must now spend his days in sunny Saskatchewan, where an eye can be kept on him from a safe distance. That's right, jinx me at the online felt by leaving to get a scotch and you'll find yourself in the corn field.

If nothing else, it primed the pump for Poker Stars' $5 mill anniversary game this Sunday. As Drizz pointed out - how often does a Lambo get to park in my garage? (Answer: not often). The $1 mil wouldn't be too shabby either, if not exactly enough to retire on. I should just have to navigate 50,000 other donkeys or so and I'll be just fine. Maybe I should take Monday off now so I can rest after my epic run ending in my 49,936th place finish. 200-some dollars well spent for sure.

Back to Donkey Survivor - congrats to Goat on a well-executed concept. For now at least, our wee little group has seem revitalized. With nothing particularly serious on the line, the trash-talk, blog posts, and general fun of our online meetings has grown again. Thanks to Buddydank too for keeping the home fires burning as the Mookiedank dwindled to a 2-table home game. Let's hope the yeoman work he and the rest of the BDR crew put in every week pays off with people sticking around again this time. Oh, and while I'm at - good on Hoyazo for keeping the pot stirred during all this. Even after getting KO'd early on, he's posting novellas about the games and so-called strategy coming into play. Now if we could only get the synopses back up...

Wait, Democracy Works?

That bruhaha about usage based billing (UBB)? It took a turn for the better a couple days ago.

Quick aside re: Canadian politics:

We have 4 major political parties - the Conservatives, Liberals, NDP, and Bloc Quebecois. The big 2 are the Conservatives and Liberals. The NDP are the "far" left who are generally pro-union, pro-tax, and more recently - pro-citizens. The Bloc only runs candidates in Quebec and has the stated goal of leaving Canada - so they don't really count in this topic and are only mentioned for completion's sake.

The NDP and Liberals have been against UBB for a while now, and once the shit hit the fan and petitions were being signed, the Conservatives were dragged over the line to also oppose it. Being the party in power, they were the big ones.

The Prime Minister took a personal interest in the issue, and the Industry Minister, Tony Clement went on the Twitters and told the world (or all 8700 of his followers) that the CRTC would either have to change its decision, or they'd do it for them

Win.

Now, it's not over yet. Even if the CRTC or the government strikes this down, restores competition and the avenue for innovation, and we all go back to merrily Netflixing our entertainment, this could rear its ugly head again.

See, an election is coming. This puts what could be a very popular issue to rest quickly. But once the dust has settled and we have 4-5 more years before the next election? Well, easy issues like this become less important. The companies involved are no doubt willing to wait it out a bit and start over again with their backroom dealings and flimsy excuses that anyone with an ounce of technical knowledge could disprove. They will try again.

Here's hoping everyone will still be willing to stop them.

Nearly Criminal

Bell. Grr.

Bell - Canada's major phone company. Also does satellite TV, Internet, and owns a bunch of crap. I've covered this before.

I've also mentioned how I'm in their rapidly dwindling echelon of hated users. Not because I use their phone lines, or their cell service, but because of my Internet usage. You see, I'm part of a dying breed - the guy on the Unlimited plan. The "lines" I'm on aren't the upgraded variety where I can get "up to" 25mb/s, but I have no bandwidth cap.

In their ongoing to attempt to get me to leave, they up my rate by $5 every 6 months. The latest increase just came in. This one coincided nicely with the CRTC's ruling that resellers (ie.- 3rd party providers using Bell and Rogers' lines) can now get screwed by the big boys. Where before, you could leave Bell and go to someone like Teksavvy in order to avoid caps, that option is now gone. Sure, you'd still be on Bell lines, but you'd have 200GB/month. Now? Teksavvy is forced to drop their cap to 25GB/month because our regulatory institution is in the back pocket of corporate Canada. Fuck.

Bell might now win. I'm now paying more per month for old service than their top-tier "fiber" (not really fiber) option. That one has a 75GB cap and for $5 I can add another 40. 75 isn't enough... 115 should be. If not? Another $5 for another 40.

But the whole thing pisses me off. Canada is a country that is ruled by monopolies. Bell was once the ONLY phone provider - it was government mandated. Rogers was once the only choice for TV in Toronto after it crushed or bought its competition. Eventually, Rogers moved into phone service, Bell into TV, and both into Internet and cell phones. But while they'll compete against each other, they're pretty united in hating the consumer.

See, Netflix came to town a few months ago with a streaming service. Rogers also has a bunch of video rental stores, and their VoD service. Bell has its VoD as well, and both have just launched online VoD. Can YOU see where they might want a convenient excuse to cap users? I can't... must be all this bullshit in my way.

I fully expect to see them partner with Microsoft, Sony, and possibly Nintendo as well - "Hey PS3 users! If you're on Bell, your PSN downloads don't count against your cap!" Considering I get all my games from Steam these days, there's another GB-sucking portal.

And you know what's rapidly disappearing? Physical media. CDs, DVDs, video games in a box - they all have limited retail lives as download speeds and storage increase. If you can grab a 10GB game while you sleep, why go to the store? HD movies streamed instantly? Downloadable in an hour to keep? Can't see the need for a player much longer. Even books are increasingly being downloaded to e-readers. Smart phones connect to your WiFi network to surf and grab apps.

The point being that ALL entertainment and information is going online and being downloaded, and being charged nearly $2/GB (if you don't pay for a block) when it costs at most PENNIES for the companies to provide it is damned near criminal. The fact our regulatory body, who is SUPPOSED to be looking out for the citizenry, the consumers, and the well-being of the country, as failed so epically is disgusting. They've effectively condemned Canada into staying in the stone ages technologically, at the mercy of a handful of large, established corporations who have only their own interests at heart. The small guys can't compete. Their ONLY competitive edge has been taken away. Nobody has the kind of capital required to lay physical communication lines across the second largest country in the world.

The only source of competitive hope would be one of the low-cost wireless carriers investing in a high-speed 4G cell broadband network. Pay for cell service, pay for at-home wireless broadband. Unlimited data on a tethered plan? That would still take some massive investment, but less than burying cable.

That, or the Googlenet will have to come to Canada.

Anybody want to connect a 54km Ethernet cable from my house to a US router?