Neither Tom Hanks nor a Donkey

In my last post I mentioned a bachelor party for a buddy. Buddy likes the poker. He's an alright player, but in that home-game way. For the twilight of his years of freedom, part of the festivities involved a poker tournament. Of the 20-some people in attendance, there was a significant percentage for whom the game of poker was a mystery. Sure, they knew OF poker, but that was about it. For instance, it happened more than once that someone would win with a flush and say, "I know I won... but could somebody explain to me why?" I personally saved one guy from elimination when nobody else at the table realized he had flopped a flush... and that it beat another guy's turned straight.

Now, this should provide ample opportunity to succeed for the more knowledgeable. I was, in fact, quite happy with the situation... at first. This would be turn out to be the most card dead night of poker I have ever experienced. Playing at a 6-handed table, I saw narry a hand I could play. The first, and only, truly playable pocket cards I saw were AKo, and when I bet, everyone folded. Considering the word "fold" seemed foreign to my opponents prior to this, they quickly displayed their aptitude for the language.

Often, when one is card dead and folding merrily away, there are boards that cause the player to cringe. Their T4o flops trips, and then discovers it's really a full house that didn't know it yet when the river comes. This didn't happen once in this game. Every single hand I folded I had no post-decision regrets about, because I would have never even caught a pair.

I tried to crank up my aggression and scare them away... no dice. Weak players who are call stations... fantastic. Needless to say, I went out before any tables merged.

So -- what does one do in this situation? Other than lose that is. You have absolutely NO cards, and the players around you are calling stations so you can't scare them away. Is there any way to win? Do you become even MORE aggressive? Start going all-in all the time? Play every scare card as if it just gave you the stone cold nuts? Shout "Hey! Look over there!" and then steal all the aces when everyone looks? Thoughts?