Friday, June 26, 2009

Streetcars

I'm not entirely sure how I managed to get out of bed, let alone shower, get dressed, and get to work with the excruciating pain in my lower back the past two days.

Fuck.

Anyway, that's not what's got me a touch annoyed.

The "news cycle" is doing today. First, Wolf Blitzer on CNN covering Michael Jackson's death. The guy couldn't be less sincere if he had tried. He kept showing clips of Jackson videos, and the "reminiscing" about them afterwards with boilerplate claptrap like "Beat It, what a memorable video and song. That was Michael Jackson performing in that video there. Who can't remember these videos?" He'd basically repeat that for each one. When he spoke to people in the industry about MJ, he'd be 10 seconds behind what they were talking about. They'd be halfway through their next item and he'd cut them off to basically repeat what they just said about the previous one.

Guy's going senile.

Why the FUCK wasn't John Roberts doing the coverage? The guy was a FUCKING VEEJAY in the 80's and 90's! JD Roberts on MuchMusic baby! Nobody there is more qualified.

Anyway, they filled hours of time covering the situation, but it was obvious they had nothing worth saying that couldn't have been said in thirty minutes. No wonder "journalism" and "reporting" are in the sewer.

But that's not all! No. As a Canadian, and especially a Torontonian, I'm constantly annoyed by the morons posing as sportscasters in the States. Lucky for us, we have 3 of our own sports channels, so we're rarely exposed to ESPN and their ilk.

First, most guys in sports reporting that I have seen in the US are straight up morons. They can barely get a comprehensible sentence out of their mouths, let alone keep track of what's going on. They talk over action and distract because they love the sound of their own voice and feel the need to provide the most USELESS information possible during a game. I get that colour commentary is necessary, but learn to shut your damned trap for 3 seconds.

But the truly annoying part? The fact Toronto seems to be in a void to them. We have the only Canadian NBA team in the Raptors. The only Canadian MLB team in the Blue Jays. Then there's hockey, but I'll forgive them for ignoring that, since everybody else south of Manhattan does. But if you listen to a US feed of a game involving either of these teams or any of the players in an all-star game, it's obvious they haven't even looked at a stat sheet.

If Halladay was in New York, he'd be the biggest name pitcher in the majors. If Rios was in Boston, he'd be lauded (well, maybe not the last two seasons). Chris Bosh is a known name in the NBA, but still underestimated to comparable players. Hell, if it wasn't for Vince Carter's fantastic slam dunk competition years ago, he would have been invisible until he got to the Nets.

And last night was the NBA draft. Raps draft DeMar DeRozen at #9. A "potential" player who could either be huge, a bust, or an everyman. Who knows? But ESPN interviews him after, and he gives the standard "thrilled to be going to [insert team here]" response. The ESPN lackey? "Well, you'll love the public transit system in Toronto. Their streetcars are very... efficient."

WHAT THE FUCK?

We're a city of over 3 million people. 5 million are in town a work day. We're the 5th largest city in North America. Easily the most diverse city in the world. Museums, art gallerys, theatre, tourist attractions, major sports franchises, the largest entertainment/club district in the world, etc, etc, etc.... and you fucking laud the STREETCARS?? The same ones we're trying desperately to scrap and replace? Fuck, why not just shrug and say, "Well, I can't tell you much about Toronto, because I'm far too fucking lazy to look up the wikipedia page for 10 seconds before this 1 minute interview."

Imagine if the Celtics drafted the guy, and got "Well, hey, you'll love the MBTA. Really great buses."

Give me a fucking break.

I picked the wrong day to stop sniffing glue.

5 comments:

BamBam said...

Your back must be bothering you. Those Donkey's would normally not be worth the time of day.

Oh and to the smelly garbage whiners. Try going by one of the picket lines. Perhaps they should be forced to shower and bathe every six hours or so because clearly, they currently do not do so at all!

TenMile said...

I didn't know you were from . . What's the name of that town?

Dr. Pauly said...

Any day you choose to stop sniffing glue is a bad day.

lightning36 said...

Strangely enough, I am reminded of a day when I was doing my intership in clinical psychology. I asked a woman to list her good qualities. The only thing she could come up with was that she had good penmanship ...

Alan aka RecessRampage said...

Great post dude. Really enjoyed.