Wednesday, April 08, 2009

And They Tried So Hard

I walked into the office kitchenette to get some water today. I was greeted by a man in a Mr. Coffee shirt pointing out the very fancy and new machine we had. The old workhourse Keurig was sitting on a cart, waiting to be wheeled to coffee machine hell (where it deserves to be). Free cookies? A whole song and dance about the available flavours and features? Sure!

So I put in the pod of chai tea and hit the button. Chai-flavoured water came out. Milk and sugar gave it some substance, but no more chai flavour. My verdict of "weak" was confirmed by a third party.

I returned a couple hours later and decided to brave the chicken soup pod. Out came a yellow liquid with some green flecks. Ah, good ol' Liptons powdered chicken soup from my childhood. No noodles of course. The first sip was less horrific than expected. It seemd to improve as I went and my tongue adjusted to the copious amounts of MSG or whatever chemicals were scouring its surface. Then came the aftertaste... the horrible, horrible aftertaste.

Some chili, a banana, and water later, and the taste was nearly gone.

So then came attempt #3. Hot chocolate + coffee. This required manual combination.

There are 3 sizes to choose from - short, regular, and tall. The short tea had only half filled my mug before, so I figured a couple shorts should do. A short hot chocolate nearly filled it... so size is inconsistent. I shorted a paper cup with "caramel capullato", which was some bullshit caramel-flavoured coffee that was supposed to be reminiscent of a cappuccino, but without the milk part... so ummm... whatever.

Since they were seperate, I opted to try them both. The hot chocolate was watery, so I added cream and it improved marginally. The caramel thing was shite in a cup. Watery, bitter, and artificial. I mixed the two and the result was drinkable, but still weak. At least it was caffeinated.

So, 4 drinks, not great, some awful. That's now two pod machines that suck. Why people waste money on this stuff, I just don't know. Convenient? Sure. That doesn't mean it's worth drinking.

1 comment:

spritpot said...

This reminds me of the instant drink machine in Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. They can go into hyperspeed and time travel, yet they still can't make an instant drink machine that's capable of producing something palatable.