Tuesday, September 04, 2007

Google

I finally got off my incredibly lazy ass and started tracking the traffic here. You're a very exclusive group, btw. Think of this place as the VIP room, but without all the sex (sadly).

As often, I think the Google searches are the most fun. I will try to answer these unsolicited queries. "microwave cooking of red meat", "Dettifoss directions", "monte carlo spin slot machine", "cape breton the pearl restaurant".

Microwaving red meat - sweet jeebus, are you insane? That's disgusting. Don't do it! It takes 10 minutes to pan-fry a steak from the moment you turn on the stove. Just put in a bit of oil, crank it to high, and once the oil is hot (not smoking), toss on the meat for a few minutes a side. If it's a roast, then there is no good way to do it that doesn't involve some sort of oven or rotisserie (but why rotisserie? You lose all the juices!). If you REALLY want to eat disgusting rubber, then go ahead and microwave, just make sure you season and marinade and tenderize the hell out of it first. Here's why - microwaves work by boiling the liquids in the food, and in the case of meat, that effectively cooks it from the inside out. Have you had boiled beef? Ick... but at least it's tender, which is not what you'll get from the microwave. If you really want to, here's something off the top of my head: Season, marinade, tenderize. Put it above (not touching) some hot water and cover. Microwave on high for a bit, and then drop the power. MAYBE you'll have something edible.

Dettifoss directions : From the ring road (1), turn north at Grimstadir towards Asbyrgi (there will be a sign that says Dettifoss), bounce on the road for a while, turn left, and get out at the parking lot. Walk down the steps by the picnic spot (not by the washrooms, those go to a different falls), and you can't miss it. Dress warmly, I suggest a couple thin layers and a light jacket in the summer, earmuffs or a hood wouldn't hurt... and gloves.

Monte Carlo Slot - Hey, I won $1000 in Calgary on it, so I'm happy. I got the 3 blazing 7's. I actually don't like these machines that much, they don't hit the spin game very often, and the high progressive is tough to hit. Play Blazing 7's instead, but only the original with 3 wheels and INDIVIDUAL progressive jackpots, preferably in a large bank of machines so you can compare jackpot sizes. Aim for the largest and drop 100x the min bet and play the max every spin.

Cape Breton and The Pearl - Can't help you. I just happened to go to Cape Breton the day after visiting The Pearl in Reykjavik. Strange. I looked online, too much effort for me to make.

As for everyone who was looking for "I Can't Believe I Took The Whole Thing" (any of the episodes from 1-13), I haven't seen it, but it sure seems popular in Europe. But then again, this isn't that kind of site. Don't you feel a bit exposed now that I've mentioned the pr0n you were looking for?

BONUS for "I can't believe love is so blind when" When what? When you see really, really, really good-looking people together? When you, yourself are blind? You didn't give me enough information! But let's go with this - we're all superficial jerks whether we admit or not. Looks matter, it's the first thing we notice when meeting someone face-to-face. We like hot. Everyone's definition of hot is different. Now, if you actually get to know someone first, you'll discover that look ain't everything. Looks also have a tendency to be temporary. Upset the hotties aren't with you? Well then nut up and try and get with them and stop bitching at Google.

1 comment:

JL514 said...

I laughed :) I can appreciate the really weird keyword searches, i get the same thing (when your blog title is 'drawing dead' you wouldn't believe what people search for and end up there)