Friday, September 28, 2007


I have four digital cameras. Three of them have been bought in the last year. One of those was bought specifically so I would always carry it with me as I had grown tired of seeing scenes around the city that I wanted a picture of and missing them forever due to lack of a camera. That camera has been sitting in my office at home for months now.

Yesterday I was walking from work to Toronto's Harbourfront, and came out of the west entrance to the Air Canada Centre to behold a beautiful landscape in front of me. The sun was sitting just below the horizon, giving off its last great burst of light before dusk, and the sky was full of uniform clouds spread evenly across the firmament. The horizon was a breathtaking golden yellow which reflected on the canvas of clouds above. Sitting prominently in the foreground of all this was the CN Tower, the tallest building in the world (Burj Dubai isn't finished yet, so it doesn't count), its lines crisp and clear as it struck the heavens. Most impressively was that its nightly light show had already begun, with the colour cycling along its height and deck matching exactly the colour of the sky behind it. It was a unique simpatico, and I lacked any photographic means to permanently capture the scene.

And then, as I turned the corner, dusk settled on the city, halving the buildings around me with shadow, but bringing out that definition of lines that is only seen as the sun bids adieu.


Last night (or more accurately, early this morning), I dreamt that my uncle died. It was one of the most vivid dreams I've had in a long time. My family was gathering at my grandparents' house (which has lain abandoned for nearly a year now) for the anniversary of my grandmother's birthday. and I walked into the kitchen to find who I thought was one of my uncles. I commented on how he'd lost weight when I realized it was in fact my other uncle and he'd been ill for a while. In reality he's had heart problems for the last 10 years. He suddenly had on a horribly fake Elvis pompadour and began to shrink. He was in some sort of chair that he could raise and lower at will. As he sat near the floor, his face resembled my grandmother. He then returned to normal size and went to the living room to join the rest of the family.

He and my aunt were both sitting on the couch and he closed his eyes to rest, his breathing deep and steady. The family talked, and then we realized his breathing had changed. My mother shouted to wake her brother up, his wife shook him, and he opened his eyes briefly and said he was okay. He then fell back asleep. My focus shifted until I heard my mother saying he was gone. I turned back to the couch and he wasn't moving. Then he started to breathe again but everyone was getting up to leave. He was then surrounded in dull glow and stood up, fitter than he'd ever been and smiling. He walked over to me, bent down and we spoke briefly about how he'd be missed and that it was a shame he didn't patch things up with everyone before he died. He said he was happy, said goodbye, and moved on to the next person in the room. The room began to swim and swirl and he faded into a kaleidoscope of primary colours that filled the room.

I woke up missing my uncle who I have barely seen in the past decade or so as he's managed to estrange himself and most of his family from the rest of us. I believe my grandmother's funeral was the last time I saw him, and it had been a while before that. Seeing as I haven't received any phone calls saying he passed away around 6am this morning, I'll chalk it up to just a dream, however vivid it may have been.

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