I Never Though I'd Care

So my FT account was down to 40 cents, which is, for all intents and purposes, zero. I'd been playing the retarded 600 FTP token games, and after losing a redonkulous HU against a donkey I should have busted about 3 times before he beat me (how many rivers can one guy hit HU?), I opted for the 1,800 FTP token games that pay top 3 instead of winner-take-all. Good call me.

So then I used my token to play a $24+2 KO SnG. I was cruising along nicely before a couple reasonable beats killed me.

But I managed to knock a couple people out, giving me a whopping $4.40 in my account... or 11x my original BR. Not a bad return. I used most of that to play a $3 KO 90-man, which I knocked one guy out of for $0.50 before succumbing to something terrible no doubt.

So, with $1.60 left, I had enough for a 90-man $1+0.25 SnG.

The problem? It was 11:30pm and I grossly underestimated how much people care about $1. I went and finished 6th or something, a little over 2 1/2 hours later. That was dumb. But... I won over $4!! Wooohoo!

Okay, you don't care. I don't really care either. I mean, we're talking less than the cost of a quarter pounder combo here. But with my self-imposed reload moratorium, I'm actually finding I DO care about these games. I think... THINK, I'm actually learning something here.

See, I've never played with much regard to the money. To me, gambling is entertainment, and the amount I spend is what I'm willing to pay as a price of admission. Because of this, my play is often focused on the short-term. I want to win the tournament I'm in. I want to walk away from the cash game with a profit. I want to bust Waffles. Whatever. This has changed slowly over time, as I started playing things like The Mookie for fun, and the bigger MTTs for experience and experimentation in style. I walk into a home game determined to win it, to prove I'm the best there. But never have I had the thought "If I lose, then I'm going to miss that money."

But now, with a bankroll of zero until December, I have a motivation I haven't had before. I can't play The Mookie, The Skill Game, Riverchasers, 50-50, or even a $20 SnG without money. I have no money. Therefore, I must get money. So I'm playing donkish little nearly-free games to win instead of to detilt or annoy the minnows. I actually cared enough about a $1 SnG at 1:30am to stay up and keep playing instead of pushing all-in and walking away. I paid more attention to my opponents than I had in months. I played better poker than I had in months.

And today, I woke up wondering if maybe I shouldn't continue the reload ban until the new year. Yup. No reloads until Jan 1st OR if I run out of points, whichever comes first. Of course, I might just turn this $4 into something more substantial... who knows? At the very least, it means more capital free for Vegas and Christmas.