Monday, October 22, 2007

A Vegas Without Sean...

would be A TRAGEDY!

Since I can't post in his new-fangled blog (TypeKey no likey), I'll just post it here, knowing he comes by once in a while.

Instant Tragedy NEEDS to come to Vegas. He's got the days off, the kids are visiting in November, and we know we want him there. So what if he's low-limit? He's hardly the only one. Not much of a drinker? Not much of an issue. Nothing quite as amusing as watching others behave like asses.

But most importantly... you can't do BDR live without Tragedy!

Speaking of BDR... had BuddyDouche figured out if he's coming yet or not? If you say no, you're a pussy.

So everybody bug IT into making the trip. Buddy too I guess. :)

Anybody else who is wavering? Quit it and BOOK IT!

Excuses and my Responses:

- I don't have the time
- Leave Friday night, red-eye back Sunday. You can't set aside a weekend 1 1/2 months in advance?

- I don't gamble
- Then don't. See some shows, see the town, drink!

- I don't drink
- You're not the only one. See above.

- I don't know anybody
- So? After about 30 seconds, you'll know 30 people and consider them your friends.

- I have nobody to room with.
- You have a blog. Put out a request. Last I heard, Buddy was looking for a roomie. Or go solo, then you have some place to bring back that hot hooker you met at the bar.

- I'm afraid of flying
- Start walking. You'll save a bundle! Or drive or something. Or move to Vegas.

- I get epileptic seisures with flashing lights.
- Wear shades and avoid the flashing lights

- I'm broke
- People need kidneys. You need money. You have an extra kidney. They have extra money. Do the math.

- I'm a pussy
- Then prove you're not. Pussy.

- I have no idea what you're talking about.
- Stop Googling the word "pussy" then. Because you'll end up here. Also, it's "I Can't Believe I TOOK the Whole Thing", not ATE. Keep your porn titles and Alka-Seltzer ads separate. Please.

- My parents didn't hug me enough as a child.
- Come, you'll get plenty of hugs.

- I live in a war-torn country with closed borders and a dictatorial tyrant as a leader.
- Put together a survival kit and don't stop running until you get through that hole in security. Remember, the human factor is the weakest point of any system. Once you're across the border, sell that kidney and COME TO VEGAS!

- My grandmother died.
- What? Just before the trip? How would you know that? Unless you're planning on killing her! Don't do that! Come to Vegas! If you're not planning a murder, then how healthy are her organs?

- I'm missing a kidney.
- Do you have money? See above and network. Alternately, gamble, win, and buy a new one. Or better yet fashion one out of your winnings. Mmmm... moneykidney.

Okay.. I'm done.

2 comments:

Buddy Dank said...

After my decent finish last night I am now 95% sure that I am going. And yes I am still looking to share a room with someone if they are interested.

The Wife said...

Well, apparently I just needed to read your list - I'm a babysitter away from being there. If I make it, I've told Tragedy he needs to get his butt there too.

I'll share a room too . . . but in respect to DrChako, it should probably be with a woman. Or a gay man. Or a eunoch.

The Wife (Mrs. Chako)