Monday, November 12, 2007

John Gabriel's Theory

Feel free to apply to online poker. Of course, since bloggers aren't anonymous, this doesn't apply to them. I'm not going to get involved in THAT little high school drama.

More to the point, it's in reference to the real losers out there, brought on by one of those SnGs from yesterday. I was short-stack with 4 left (bubble), and started stealing. Antes were in so it was easy to build up to something respectable. I had some decent hands in there, and was willing to go to the felt a few times but nobody else at the table had the balls.

One guy makes a comment of "I wish I could do something to stop you from stealing every time." I'm not sure if it was directed at me or the big stack who was stealing just as much (and directly to his right). Regardless, he was a pansy.

He goes all-in against my pocket queens to his fours and goes out. I type the usual "gg", which I mean sincerely since he lasted that long and other than being weak on the bubble had played pretty well previously. I get, "f you" back and he's gone. I'll assume the "f" wasn't complimentary.

Fine, whatever. Doesn't bother me, I'd managed to be the big stack by this point and didn't suck out on him or even speak to him before this. But it's just another example of the assholery that occurs in this little game.

My favourite is still a time I was playing a nothing game (either a Tier I or a $6.50 SnG). I believe LJ was there too. Someone gets knocked out by another player and goes into it in the chat. He tops it off with "I hope your entire family dies a horrible death." What. The. FUCK? You just wished a horrible death to someone's family because you lost $6 in a poker game?? What are you? 15 and full of angst?

The same guy knocked me out a while later. I quickly typed, "nh, gg. I hope your family has a long and joyful life."

I've also seen people threaten other player's babies (on Stars, where the avatar was the person's newborn), and start posting personal info about people they lost to. And I play at LOW stakes. Who gets this upset over $5, $10, or $20?

Follow someone from table-to-table all you want telling them they're a donkey. Quote odds and throw out lines like "AQ is the nuts!" as much as you like. Hell, start plagiarising Sklansky in the chat to show someone what math is. But threatening their family? That's just fucked up.


Hammer Player a.k.a Hoyazo said...

I never get like this anymore and would not in a million years at this point, but back when I first started playing I am embarrassed to say that I regularly had my chat banned on pokerstars due to comments probably far worse than the ones you describe here. I wish I could tell you where that comes from or why, but I just can't explain it. I will say that for me it had absolutely positively nothing to do with the money involved, so the fact that it's a $6 or $20 buyin tournament has zippo to do with that reaction. It's always hard for me to understand why I used to get this way because nowadays, while I might rant in my blog the next morning about a bad play made against me, and on occasion I will still question someone's sanity and/or luckboxery in the chatbox for making a horrible play and sucking out, I would never ever say the things that I used to regularly type into the chat over at pokerstars.

It may have something to do with pokerstars being rigged to help the donkeys to suck out. I think I was really unprepared for all the ghey turns and especially the ghey rivering that goes down on pokerstars on a regular basis. My theory is that my brain simply couldn't handle this and that I completely lost control. At this point I consider it just a deep, dark time in my online life and something that I would never even conceive of doing today.

Julius_Goat said...

It's usually around the time that whosoever is threatening physical harm that I start typing gibberish.

Them: Die u suk donk i hope u suffr

Me: But don't forget to ongle the fillet data in the mangmung!

It's like this: If you are bounced from a tourney, you are done. Dead. There's nothing you can do. Except talk. I think some people really feel impotent in that scenario. If somebody's got a lot of frustration and pent up rage in their life, it's going to come out in some way. Better virtual threats than actually beating your kids . . . but how long before it crosses over?

And some of it is immaturity. I'm like Hoy in that it took some reflection to recognize and kill the troll-impulse. Back when I was (say) in my early twenties, I thought it was hilarious and cool to just start messing with people in online chat just for kicks. No threats, but nothing nice all the same. I'm fairly quick on my feet verbally speaking and was able to put many people on life-tilt. It was all annonymous, what's the harm? I was an idiot, and at some point I woke up to that.

Basically, I think guys like those you described are revealing a great deal about themselves. Most will grow up. Some you'd never want to know. Whadya gonna do?

RaisingCayne said...

I like the post. I've also previously pondered how some people manage to get SO worked up over such petty stakes.

Now, that being said... I still believe four-flushes should get Mad Cow! (I just don't have the need to tell the donkey who sucked out on me, that he/she specifically deserves the bird flu or ebola or what have you.)

Riggstad said...

lol.. I always, always thought that this kind of stuff was always in jest. Like Hoy, I have used worse comments, but always just to laugh. If the guy thinks I'm serious, then so so be it, because I for one, have never taken any of that stuff serious. In fact, when ever it seems to get really heated, the two offenders, if sitting together long enough, usually become pals

Hell, I get like that in live games! I called a guy in a wheel chair Christopher Reeves once beause he called off my $1200 jam with a set of Queens on the flop with an 8 high flush draw. pretty good story, I'll have to make a post of it.